WEAK 4 YOU [fanfiction]

IV realize

TW: swearing, sexuality

With my mind full of thoughts, I was standing in my apartment, where Taehyung left me. Looking down at my body I realized that I had actually gotten hard.

What the hell? Did he notice? Fuck.

I never thought about me being attracted to men, but these were emotions I never had. This lust. No, I can't be gay. And why do I even get aroused by his toxic attitude?

I touched my lips and closed my eyes, trying to breathe normally again because I was so excited that I eventually got out of enough oxygen. Slowly I made my way to the living room, looking around and remembering what had happened here only 15 minutes ago. I opened the window more to inhale the fresh night air and tried in vain to think of the exams which were scheduled in less than a week, but I could hardly concentrate. 

After trying to figure out why I felt this way and why the fuck I got so excited, I went into the bathroom and washed my face with water. Looking at myself in the mirror, "Jungkook, is there a possibility that you are attracted to men? Precisely, to this jack*ss Taehyung?"

Reader POV

Growing up in a one-room apartment with his mother, Kim Taehyung had to face responsibility at an early age. His mother worked hard to earn money, so she could offer her son a good education. She did everything right compared to her boyfriend, who was treating Taehyung like a petty servant. Besides abusing the kid physically and mentally, he even got the Teenager involved in dirty business at an early age. 

Kim Taehyung would always watch other kids play while he was sent out to buy groceries or be the pledge for his stepfather when he didn't have enough money to pay for the goods. The boy was too insecure to ask for permission to join the others in soccer or at the playground. Honestly, they didn't even want him to join because they feared that they could get their hands dirty too. That's why, until he meet Yoongi, Taeyhung was alone most of the time while he was growing up.

He got older, noticeably colder and with his embodiment, he feared no punishment. Things got out of hand, he started smoking and drinking. He started to beat up kids for money, for food or because he needed to free his anger and pain. The latter was the last thing he would admit because weakness was nothing he wanted to be labelled with. Even if it was exactly what he was deep inside, weak. So control was the only option for him to find balance, to endure the pain of his daily life a little longer.

Sometimes he would even cry in the corner of his room. When he was alone there was no evil smirk or an impulsive beating. When he was alone he was totally lost in thoughts, imagining how life could be if he wasn't Kim Taehyung. How life could be if he was anyone else.

Taehyung had always watched Jungkook from afar, envying what he had. His negative feelings turned positive back when he read one part of Jungkook's Poem in 7th grade:

If I had the power to change the world,
to make the poorest the richest,
I wouldn't stop praising the lord
not even after the hell's stitches.

Even though the meaning of the poem was never clear enough to him since then Taehyung believed that money would not affect everyone's acting and thinking.

Not till today.