WEAK 4 YOU [fanfiction]

VII sorry

Jungkook POV:

My lessons today were finally over. I went out of the hallway and sighed in relief. But then it came to my mind. Hoseok isn't here. I am on my own. For the first time after I had come back to school, Hoseok wasn't there. At least it was raining. Rain would help me to calm myself even in the most stressful situations.

I looked around me to search for Taehyung or some of his demons when a weird feeling made itself present in my mind. I made my decision to ignore it and slowly started walking up to the school gates. My way home was very quiet, I didn't even listen to music because today the only thing I wanted to listen to was the rain.

I reached the dorm and that is when the odd feeling I had started to feel finally lifted and revealed its origin. Standing there, with a black hoodie hiding his face as he was looking at the ground and playing with a zipper between his fingers, Taehyung had waited for me to come home. His clothes were sodden.

Is there a way out of this? I feel that running won't be a good idea. What If I just- I fast walked past him and made my way up to the stairs.

"I wholeheartedly want to talk with you, Jungkook.", Taehyung said, turning around immediately and looking up at me. His face was visible now, probably as visible and clear as ever. Something in his gaze gave me goosebumps all over my body and all the intense feelings he evoked in me returned again.

All my efforts to forget these experiences for nothing. For a second of eye contact in the rain. Now I hate the rain. The raindrops ran down his cheeks like tears. Maybe there were tears too, I couldn't see them because my eyes were already watery from all the suppression I was enduring, even now.

He looks hurt, almost weak...

I froze in my move. Our eyes meet again. For one second I forgot what happened back in the men's room. I just looked into those beautiful eyes before I forced myself to keep the negative attitude up as a way to shield myself. I knew, that one wrong move and I would have lost.

"What is there to talk about?", I asked with a serious mimic. Taehyung made his first step on the stair. His broken hand becomes the centre of attention, as I am too overwhelmed and uncomfortable to look him in the eyes.

The man in front of me looked exhausted and not at all like the usual ignorant and strong person he always was, or pretended to be.

"I want to apologize for what I did to you.", he said in his raspy deep voice giving me chills all over my body.

Did Kim Taehyung really just apologize to me? 

"Do you think that your apology just makes me forget what you have done to me, only because I smiled at you???", I said with my head turning away from him. "I don't even want to imagine what you'd do if I had told you that I felt attracted to a piece of sh*t like you!!!", I screamed full of pain. My heart was aching inside of my chest as if all the memories I tried so desperately to heal from just burst out bleeding again. "Get lost! You haven't even gotten any punishment for what you have done. I don't know why you can't stop punishing me with your f*cking presence."

Reader POV:

Taehyung stared at Jungkook with wide eyes, desperately fighting the urge to interrupt what truth the younger was shouting into his face but he wasn't in the position to do so and finally, he came to an understanding:

What scared him the most when he meet Jungkook wasn't only the loss of control, but it was that he made him get confronted with his weak side. Until now, weakness was never an option for Taehyung. He had to instinctively survive with nothing more but his bare hand and his sly mind. How could he imagine that someday there would be a man who evokes these feelings inside of him? It wasn't Jungkook's smile or the reaction of his entire body that disgusted Taehyung. His own feelings of euphoria scared him because he never learned from a parenting adult that being weak can also result in beauty and emotional wealth. The reason why he violently harassed Jungkook was because he thought that the younger would lose any attraction to him in an instant and therefore Jungkook would never be able to go deeper than he already had. In truth, the thing that Taehyung was the most scared of was his weak side, because he had always suppressed it and therefore had no control over or knowledge of what it looked or felt like.

Jungkook POV:

... I don't know why you can't stop punishing me with your f*cking presence.", my voice became raspy from the screaming and my mind dizzy from all the tears and what was happening right now. 

Did Kim Taehyung really think that a simple apolo-

-Three fast steps on metal-

Suddenly I felt his body against mine, his arms wrapped around my waist as firm as his strength allowed him to. Holding me tight. I could tell he was weak because I could have easily brushed him off of me but I decided not to move. Instead, I instinctively closed my eyes and let the embrace happen. Somehow, I felt crazy for being happy about this hug with the guy who assaulted me but I wasn't able to ignore my raging feelings for him either. 

-Three raindrops echoing on metal-

"Please forgive me, Jungkook"