Chapter 23

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  "WHAT?" you demanded just as loudly as the rest of the room. Unfortunately, everyone just stared in shocked, drunken, confusion. They were all way too plastered to process the information, much less have this conversation tonight.

You glared at them all for being dumb enough to get this drunk. It was nearly dawn, and you were grumpy without sleep, especially when you had to be the grownup for all these adults, and Tony. "I've got to get you all to bed so you can sleep off that shit and we can have a coherent conversation about that bombshell in the morning," you grumbled at them.

"Language," Cap slurred. You knew it was bad when Cap was drunk enough to slur. What was in that stuff Thor had given them?

You calmly raised your middle finger at Cap, who just looked even more shocked and appalled at your actions. Clint just erupted into giggles. "Can it, Cap," you snarled at him. You were really grumpy without sleep and having to herd a group of drunken cats. You stood from Loki's lap and scowled when he tried to pull you back there. "You all officially lose the blue band-aid contest." you informed them as you raised your hands in front of you, calling the magic you'd need for your drunken cat herding. It probably wasn't the most ethical method of getting them to bed, but it was the most effective way of getting them all there safely and quickly. "I'm calling it, guys, bed for everyone," they all whined, but it was too late. You looked at Thor and Loki. "We will discuss this in the morning," you told them firmly. With that, you unleashed the spell you had cast. A moment later, everyone, besides Loki, was in their beds asleep. The sleep was easy, it was part of a healer's arsenal. Putting everyone to bed was more tricky, but you managed. You had to take a moment to catch your breath. It had taken quite a bit of magic all at once to cast that spell.

You walked over to the whiteboard currently set up in the living room. It currently held the tally marks of everyone's injuries for the evening. You erased the board and wrote instead:

Everyone lost tonight for the offense of getting so drunk the healer had to teleport you to your beds. Pissing off the healer was a terrible idea. So you ALL lose.

Pay up

Y/N

After you wrote your note you went back to the couch and your very drunk boyfriend. "Come along, love. Time for bed," you bid him gently. You'd promised to take care of him, so he didn't get sent to bed like the others. You somehow got him hauled to his feet, one of his arms over your shoulders and your arms around his waist to keep him standing. You teleported the two of you up to his room, even through his shielding, glad his shields didn't even hesitate at letting you in anymore. Somehow you managed to walk him to his bed and get him sitting in it. It wasn't easy.

It was even more difficult to figure out how to get him out of his shoes. He kept wanting kisses instead of helping you. Finally, you remembered that you were a witch and had the handy clothes changing spell. It was more difficult to use on someone other than yourself, but you somehow, somehow with lots of herding and promises of kisses got him in pajamas in the bed and agreeing to stay there for longer than thirty seconds.

You swore to yourself never to let him get this drunk again.

He grabbed your hand when you went to leave the room. "Stay with me?" he asked all small and pathetically.

You sighed, exasperated and grumpy, but gave him a smile anyway. "If I stay, will you finally go the fuck to sleep?" you asked him. He giggled at your curse word and you were tempted to read him that book just to hear more of his giggles. He nodded. "Fine, I'll stay." You didn't feel like using more magic when you were sober enough to dress yourself, so you stole a pair of pajama pants and one of his shirts from his dresser to wear to bed, keeping your back to him while you changed. Once changed, you crawled into the bed with him. He curled himself around you, protectively acting the big spoon, even though he was too drunk to use his magic, much less protect either of you.

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