Emotions Are For Children

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You didn't expect to feel calm the moment you saw the stupid grin on his face. Since he didn't know that you were basically living on borrowed time, he probably assumed that your glum face was due to losing your friend.

'Hey,' he greeted. 'How you doing?'

You shrugged. 'Could be better, but could be worse, I guess.'

A pitying look crossed his face, the grin melting away, and all of a sudden you found yourself staring into the darkness that was the fabric of his tee shirt as he hugged you, one hand rubbing your back. You felt your breath hitch in your throat as the sensation of a caring hug endangered the walls you had painstakingly built around yourself for protection. Whether it was the tiredness, the grief, or the loneliness that was making you so...so soft, you didn't know, but you welcomed the feeling of comfort offered by the hug.

'I'm sorry about what happened,' he whispered. 'I know how painful it is to lose a friend, so please don't be afraid to talk to me, okay?'

You nodded silently, arms hanging limply by your sides as you took several deep and shaking breaths, your eyes threatening to turn on the waterworks. It had taken so much effort to get up that morning, to eat breakfast, and to get dressed. Your legs had dragged across the floor and down the stairs, and every noise drove you a little closer to the edge. You wondered if your own mind was truly on your side, or if you were lying to yourself. Was any of this even real?

You were just so, so tired. You were tired of the mind games, and the messages, and the secrets it forced you to keep. At this point, you just wanted to go to bed and get a proper sleep—even if it meant dying. Yet, as you stood there being comforted by someone you had mostly spoken to through messaging, you realised that, despite what your brain told you, people did care; that people would miss you if you died.

The thought wrung a few tears from your eyes, and you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to prevent any more from falling.

'You can cry, you know,' he murmured, 'it might make you feel better.

'I've cried a lot already,' you said, forcing a chuckle. 'But...thank you. I appreciate it a lot.'

'I don't mind calling today off if you need more time for yourself.'

You shook your head. 'If I don't do things now, I'll never have the chance again.' Stepping out of the hug, you smiled. It was surprisingly easy. 'Come on, I've never been rollerskating before, so you'll probably need to teach me.'

'That's fine, I happen to be something of an expert.' Standing up straighter, he held out an arm for you to take in a dramatically posh way. 'M'Peep.'

'M'lord,' you said in an overly formal tone, bowing low before taking his arm. 'Now, good sir, let us depart! Time is a-wasting, and the skating rink may be about to close.'

'It's the middle of the day, I don't think it's closing any time soon.'

'Yeah, but it could do.'

'But it won't.'

'Oh yeah? And how do you know?' Your tone was anything but accusative or confrontational, and it made you smile when Brent noticed that.

'Because,' he said, 'I happen to have forbidden knowledge! Listen carefully, it's a secret.' He whispered the name of the 'forbidden knowledge' in your ear.

You forced a deadpanned look instead of releasing the laugh that was welling up inside of you. 'Common sense? Really? Bitch.'

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