[p o e t r y]

I want to feel

I say I want to feel emotions
But that's not entirely true
Because the truth is
I do feel
I feel strongly
I feel many emotions

I listen to Alan Watts
And I feel wonder struck
And quieted by a man
Who is so wise
And yet missed the entire
Point of life
In his search for the
Philosophy of life

I watched this video
Of these boys
19 years old I think
Barely young men
Who lost their father,
Their best friend,
To cancer.
They thought would beat
The illness that ate within him
They were wrong.
He passed away January 19, 2019
Their bodies are still wracked
With painful sobs
Over a year later
They're still numb
Most days.
I hurt for them.
I feel some of their pain.

I say I want to feel emotions
But that's not the entire truth
The truth is I do feel emotions
They're just not always my own

I flick through photos
On Pinterest
I see the Taj Mahal,
Quaint town-squares in England,
Ruins in Rome of an empire
Long left in shambles,
I see breathtaking waterfalls
That travelers pass as they hike
In remote islands I've never heard of
And I see soft sunsets
Beheld by two lovers in a pillow stuffed
Trunk of a rusty pickup
I see all these people
And placed
And amazing things
And I feel such a love and a lust for life
I want to travel
And love
And live...
and above all
I want to feel
I want to feel every single emotion
For myself
Not just second hand
I don't want to feel emotions
Through the interpretation of other's lives
I want to feel strong emotions
As I live my own life
I want to feel.

(02/17/20)