Rise of the Phoenix (L. Laufey/Odinson)

21.

Utgardin Jaalinna is both a welcome and unwelcome sight to Loki, it signals the beginning of the end of this ordeal but also the closer his death, and possible Nina's. His plan needs to be solid to get them both out of here. He knows she is unlikely to leave without him. Especially now. With them venturing into some form of relationship. He sighs a little leaning on the railing of his chambers, it doesn't feel like coming home. He glances back into the room hearing Nina moving around in the bathroom. He leans up and heads inside, he closes the doors behind him to protect her from the cold. Loki's eyes shift to Nina as she leaves the bathroom, she's gone back to wearing the clothing the wives had given her, that dress that is barely a dress, and now Loki sees her differently in it. Now he has accepted his feelings for her he really sees her in it. She turns around to find him standing right there, she cocks her head a little as his eyes look over her dress. How did he not realize how beautiful she looked in it before? He reaches for her waist, fingers grazing over the skin there.

"Loki?" she asks him, he hums a little and then realizes that he's touching her, he pulls his hand back and lifts his eyes to hers.

"I apologize" he is quick to tell her. "I shouldn't have...." she grabs his hand as he moves away, he frowns at her as she pulls him back to her, places his hand back on her waist. She's nervous but sure about this. Loki isn't like the men at Hydra, Loki has been kind, protective, and he genuinely seems to care about her. He genuinely seems to want her. He brushes her hair back from her face with his free hand, she is aware he's looking at her differently. It's heated. He nudges her nose, his hand on her waist, bare flesh warm against his palm. His thumb brushes over her skin, his eyes searching hers. He understands her history, and he knows that if she says no, if she tells him to stop, he will. He is not here to hurt her as many others have in the past. He is here to love and adore her, and he does. She takes a breath and lunges forward to kiss him, he holds tight to her to stop them both from tumbling over. Lips moving against one another, both aware that this is something heavier than any of the kisses they've shared so far. She clutches to his leather jacket and he hisses slightly at the heat radiating from her hands. She whispers an apology against his lips and pulls her powers back. He raises a hand to her face, cups her cheek as he deepens the kiss, he is constantly alert for any sign of distress from her or any signs that she wants him to stop. He presses her against the wall, pulls her thigh up around his waist, his lips against her throat, she closes her eyes and moans, his fingers press into her thigh and slide up beneath the skirt of her dress. Her breath catches and he pulls his hand away instantly. "Nina?" he asks her, she lets out a breath and nods.

"It's okay" she whispers opening her eyes to look at him. "Just..." she shrugs and little.

"You're not ready?" he asks her.

"No" she answers. "I mean...no, it's not that" she quickly corrects herself.

"Then what is it?"

"I...I liked it" she admits as her cheeks warm slightly with the admission. He smiles a little and returns his hand to her leg, his eyes searching hers as he draws his hand back up her thigh. Softly. Cautiously. He just wants her to be sure about this. About him touching her. "You're different" she whispers, he nods. Understands what she means by that. That he is different from every other man that has touched her in her memory.

"You can say no" he whispers to her. "I won't be mad or upset" he promises her. "Nina...if you don't want to do this...all you have to do is say so" she touches his shoulder and then nods. He lets her go and helps her to her feet.

"I'm sorry" she whispers, he shakes his head and strokes her hair.

"That you allowed me this is more than I could have hoped for with your history, you're healing, and that takes time" he gives her a smile and nudges her nose. She wraps her arms around his neck so he can hug her, his arms around her back holding her close to him. Both of them are screwed up in their own ways, she's still in pain, she's still suffering through her trauma and it will take time for her to get better, that she even allows him to kiss her is a big step.

...............

Loki watches Nina sleep at his side, his arm resting under her head, his fingers in her hair. He is kind of glad she told him to stop. He doesn't want their first time together to be in some frozen hel hole. He would prefer it happen somewhere more romantic, somewhere softer, somewhere safer. But if he dies before they can escape it is never going to happen. But she deserves so much better than here, anything he can give her here. He leans closer to kiss her forehead before pulling back slip out of the bed. He moves to the small couch in the room and sinks onto it with a sigh. What can he give her? What sort of life will they have together? He runs his fingers through his hair. He has no answers.