Way of the Wolf: Redemption

Chapter 11 ~ Trust

Chapter 11: Trust
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There was never any privacy here. Standing with Madden and Bjarke in front of me, the rest of the pack was surely watching too. Nerves built until I was sure I was going to throw up all I'd eaten for lunch. Something as natural as shifting into my fur was a terrifying concept to me right now. Even though Madden had assured me my leg had healed enough it would cause no damage changing form, I didn't want them to watch.

These wolves shifted so fluidly and without pain that it was beautiful to see. That wasn't how I knew it to be. I didn't have much of a choice though, the two males stood strong and stern, and my wolf was restless. I was already struggling to hold back, feeling the prickle of my skin.

"You don't need to be scared. We're here to help," the healer assured me.

"I'm not scared," I snapped, folding my arms.

They both gave me expectant looks and I glanced at the other male that was sat on a rock, also watching. I knew why he was there. I knew why I was only allowed to shift where many wolves were present. I hadn't allowed my fur freedom in weeks, instincts would surely take over as soon as I did. They were ready for the feral side to take control, and they were ready to teach me my place if it did.

"I don't want you all to watch," I pleaded again, wishing they'd understand but both males stayed quiet.

As soon as my lips peeled back, a growl building in my chest, Bjarke puffed up. He didn't need to make a sound as his power surrounded me, forcing my head to duck in submission. I took a deep breath, trying to convince myself that I was safe here.

Slowly, I let go. It started so quickly, it stole the breath from my lungs but it was still no quick change. The first crack of bones repositioning brought me to my knees. I would have screamed if it hadn't been a bone in my ribcage that moved next, stealing all the air. It went smoother after that, an agonising shudder of skin giving way to fur.

My legs couldn't hold me up. On my stomach in wet mud, I panted heavily as if I'd run for miles. It was as if coherent thoughts were pushed to one side, instincts of black and white taking control. Bjarke took a slow step forward, stopping immediately when I let out a warning growl. I needed time to regain my senses and for the ache in my bones to fade. A hurt wolf was a dangerous creature.

When breathing was easier, I got to my paws and shook out my fur. Stretching out my front legs, then my back, lifting my head to take in scents, it was as overwhelming as my first day amongst the pack.

I felt selfconscious with the way they studied at me and I knew what they saw. My wolf didn't look like the thick furred, sleek wolves of the pack. My fur was thinner, patchy, unhealthy looking. I was still bigger than most females and perhaps as I ate and gained weight, I'd look a little less frightening to the pups that stared at me with wide eyes.

Keeping my head low, my tail flicked nervously. Nobody moved, the healer and the Beta watching me as if they thought I'd attack. I didn't. At least not until Bjarke changed forms, his huge grey wolf towering over me. His steps were slow, eyes never leaving me, and it made me feel very much like prey.

Hackles rose, tail lifting in an attempt to make myself look bigger, lips peeled back to show sharp white fangs. I wrestled with instincts that demanded I not submit to this male. The Beta growled, not aggressively, more like a reminder.

Slowly, I tucked tail before lowering myself to the grass and rolling over to give him my belly. He looked surprised at first, as did Madden. Still wary of me, he crept the remaining distance until he was hovering above me. He nuzzled against my cheek, nipping my jaw in greeting and I shocked myself when I lifted my head to lick his cheek.