Monster

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Natasha's P.O.V.

After taking a quick detour to grab some food that I could eat later so that I wouldn't have to talk to Barton about I today, I got back to my bunkroom. The minute I stepped into the room though the lively conversation I had heard from the hall went silent and everyone turned their eyes on me. I crossed the room to get to my bed and felt everyone's eyes still on me, something that had been happening to me an extraordinary amount over the past few days. I opened my trunk and look at the bottom to sure nothing was taken, I hadn't had much on me when I came here, but what little I did have was very important to me.

"Looking for this, monster?" Piper asked, holding up a chain with a Red Room dog tag on it.

"Give it back now," I growled, making a grab for it

"How about I show this to Director Fury and see what he says? I am sure he'll rethink allowing you to stay here when he learns that you're still attached to your KGB past, Black Widow." She spat out the last two words as if they were a slur, but she didn't know that I heard that name be used in that manner so many times that I began to wear it like a mantel to show that they couldn't use it to break me. It's one the few things from the Red Room that I would carry with me my whole life. It was my reminder that I was stronger then they thought I was.

"Give it back. Before I. Hurt. You." I said, my voice the deadly calm that you only got after having your mind and body broken and then put back together enough times that you became immune to the pain.

"Go ahead, obviously based on what you said in the protocols lecture you don't care who gets hurt in order for you to get what you want." That sent me off. I lunged at her and took the necklace while pinning her to the wall, my forearm at her neck.

"People have tried to push me and break me before and I can tell you right now that every single one of them is dead. So next time think twice before you mess with me or my stuff," I hiss into her ear before letting her go.

I went back to my bed, but as I was walking, I heard Piper spit the word 'communist' out at me. If only that was the worst thing I had been called.

I sat down on my bed and rub my thumb over the embossed piece of metal while the rest of the girls went over to Piper and alternated between checking on her and hurling insults at me. I blocked all of them out though. If they had actually looked at the tag, they would have realized it isn't mine. I run my thumb over the imprinted name. Remembering what I had to go through to even get this back to me. Remembering the day that I had learned the lesson that love was for children. Remember how I became an adult at age ten, a child killing another child. Remembering the day that I learned that attachment to others just sets everyone involved up for pain. I put the necklace under my pillow and lay down to sleep, deciding that ending this day early was worth more than dinner. I started to drift into the black void that is sleep, where I knew the memories would play all night, reminding me of the monster I have become. Before I let my conscience leave me though, I whispered, "I'm so sorry Alec."

A.N. This is currently the last chapter that I have planned that takes place during Natasha's training phase at SHIELD, but if you have something that you would like see feel free to comment it, and I will try to type something up about it.

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