Awakened

Chapter 3: Secrets

Hinata Shouyo

Hinata was on his way to Hitoka's classroom. He wanted to ask her about a subject he's having a difficult time with. Plus, it was fun to talk with her. She gets scared over the silliest things so easily, which made him laugh.

As Hinata reached the classroom, he was surprised to see Kageyama standing so stiffly in front of Hitoka's table. There was a nervous energy around the room that made Hinata feel uneasy.

Hinata didn't know what to think. It was weird to realize that the two were actually close enough to visit each other's class. Alone. 

"I'll keep this a secret from Hinata," Kageyama said.

........ Ehhhh????

"What secret?" Hinata asked, not being able to control himself.

Kageyama slowly glanced his way to Hinata. When their eyes connected, Hinata felt taken back. His gaze was so.... Intense. Not angry, but... Defeated.

It was a terrifying look on Kageyama.

"Wh-what are you looking at?" Hinata asked while making a kung-fu posing. "You tryin' to start a fight?" But Hinata knew it wasn't that.

"You look stupid," Kageyama stated. Hinata imagined kicking him in the shin. 

Hitoka stood up, looking like her brain suddenly broke and she didn't know how to function anymore.

"It's nothing!" She insisted, waving her hand in a shoo motion. "Nothing that concerns you!"

Hinata pouted. He couldn't help it. "Ehhhh," he grumbled. "I heard my name. Then it definitely concerns me!"

Kageyama casually placed his bag over his shoulder. "It's nothing," he insisted. His eyes went back to being indifferent. "Wanna get some meat buns?"

Hinata's ears perked at the meat buns. "Oh-kay!" Hinata chirped. "Bye Hitoka! See you tmrw~~!"

-------
Kageyama Tobio

Hinata and I walked down the street like usual. But now that I understood my feelings, I felt a bit different.

I felt nervous.

"Meat buns meat buns," Hinata sung beside me cheerfully. "I'm gonna fill me up with some meat buns!"

"Dumbass," I said softly. Then louder, I added, "What are you -- a grade schooler?"

He stuck his tongue out at me adorably. "By the way," he said. "I almost forgot. What was that secret?"

I thought meat buns would make him forget the secret. Rats. I underestimated him. I looked away from him, racking my brain for an excuse.

"It's a secret because I can't tell you," was all that I could come up with.

"Why can't you tell me?" His voice took on a whiny edge.

"You won't get it." And I didn't think my heart could take it if he told me my feelings were weird and disgusting. How could I ever face him again? 

He stopped in his tracks.

"Oi--" the words I were about to say dried up when I saw the hurt expression on his face.

"I wouldn't understand it," he asked quietly. "But Hitoka-kun would?"

I didn't know what to say. And truthfully, I wasn't sure why he was getting worked up.

"Well," I started awkwardly. "I guess."

Hinata glared up at me. "Stupid Crappyama."

Then he started running in the opposite direction, away from the meat buns.

I didn't know what else to do -- but stare at him as he ran away. I wanted to run after him. I wanted to shout for his name and stop him. But then, I wouldn't know how to explain my behavior. I wouldn't know what to say.

I wonder if I told him... would he run like this, too?

-----
Hinata Shouyo

Hinata felt mortified with the way he acted.

Why did he even run? Why did he have to act like a three-year-old kid throwing a tantrum???

Slowing down, he found a bench to sit on. His mind cleared a bit, and he realized he was overreacting. Worst, he was acting like a damn child.

The thing was -- Hinata got hurt.

Kageyama didn't have many friends -- he was aloof and scary, and people steered away from him. His whole world revolved around volleyball. And with this, Hinata just always assumed that he was Kageyama's best pal. Hinata thought that if Kageyama had a secret, Kageyama would surely confide in him.

But Kageyama didn't.

And instead, he confided to Hikota, which didn't make sense to Hinata. Were they always that close?!

Not that Hinata had anything against Hikota, of course. In fact, he always thought that she was his closest girl friend.

What really took the cake was when Kageyama said Hinata wouldn't understand.

"Stupid Kageyama," he grumbled to the wind. "He didn't even try."

Hinata closed his eyes and thought to himself, guess he doesn't trust me outside the court.

------
Kageyama Tobio

That night I woke up from a nightmare, drenched in sweat.

I dreamt that my teammates found out I liked Hinata. All of them laughed at me, calling me a faggot. Even our captain laughed along, calling me crude names.

Then suddenly, Hinata was there, looking at me with cold eyes.

"You like me?" He asked, his voice flat.

I tried to deny it, but something heavy gripped my throat.

"But we're both boys," he backfired. "Repulsive."

I watched helplessly as he ran away, while all my teammates laughed.

That night I decided that I didn't want to lose what he currently had. I was going to hide my feelings, no matter what.

If it's only friendship that he could offer me, then I'll take it with no questions asked.