If You Have To Ask

• Part 17 •

As we all sat in the lounge talking, laughing and joking I noticed that Anthony still had his hand on my waist. The feelings he was giving me were intense, I didn't know it was possible to love someone this much. I decided to get up and go and find my notebook in my suitcase to give to John. As I got up I noticed Anthony looked a bit bummed that I'd moved but I couldn't stay there forever. I walked into his room and started to look through my suitcase when the door opened. It was John.
"I know this songs means a lot to you and I know you wrote it for Anthony so there's no pressure to do this, I know it came from a dark place. I just want you to be sure." He came and pulled me into a hug. The fact that he remembered how personal this song is made me feel better about doing this.
"It's about time I sing it for someone" I pulled away with tears in my eyes. "But only when it's just us." He nodded his head and he walked back into the lounge while I continued searching for my notebook.
I finally found it and made my way to the guys.
"Here" I said tossing it to John.
"What's this?" He said as he started reading the first page.
"It's every song I've ever written... or at least tried to write." His eyes lit up as I sat back down next to Anthony.
"You carried on writing all these years?" He quickly closed the notebook looking towards me.
"Well I tried to." I chuckled while not looking at any of the guys directly in the eyes.
"I'll have a read through and a play and get back to you." He said as he nodded his head.
"Of course. Anyways... what are we doing tonight?" I asked looking around at the guys.
"We could go drinking?" Chad suggested.
"I don't drink but I'm down." Anthony said getting up.
"Then what are we waiting for let's get ready." I ran towards Anthony's room.
Looking through my suitcase there was only one dress I wanted to wear, my tight red one with matching red heals. I wanted to look smoking for myself but also a little for Anthony. I went into the restroom to get ready again. I couldn't get my zip up by myself so I opened the door and checked if Anthony was ready and he was stood in black pants and no T-shirt.
"Erm Anthony could you zip me up please?" I snook out of the restroom and turned around.
He came up behind me real close and placed his hand on my lower back near my zip. He slowly moved my hair to the side with his other hand. God what was this man doing to me, I just wanted to rip the dress back off. He zipped me up and moved my hair back while keeping his hand on my lower back, I could feel him get closer, I could feel his breath on my neck.
"You look stunning." He whispered in my ear.
"Thank you Tony" I turned to face him, I just wanted to kiss him.
"Are you ready? I just need a T-shirt" he walked over to his bed picking up a clean white T-Shirt placing it over his head.
"Yeah I'm good to go." I walked towards him as he was holding the door and out to the hallway.
"Damn look at you, hot stuff." Chad whistled as he spun me around.
"Let's go" John shouted as we walked out of the room.

We got to a club not that far away from the hotel. There was a huge que but the security saw Anthony and let us right in. The club was packed and the music was actually decent. Me and Chad headed straight for the bar and the others went to our booth.
We ordered shots and vodka for me, Chad, Flea and John and just Pepsi for Anthony. I was proud of him for his control.
"Who's coming to dance?" I said as I downed a shot. They all looked at me as if I'd just asked them to kill someone.
"Okay your boring." I took another shot and went to the dance floor. I could see Anthony's staring at me as if he was protecting me, I wasn't hit to protect though. As much as I wanted him he hadn't made a move yet and I certainly wasn't ready to.
I danced and danced until my feet hurt and then decided to go back to the table to find 2 blonde girls sat either side of Anthony. I looked at him and he looked like he was enjoying the company, I could feel myself burning up.
"Faye you okay?" Flea asked taking my hand. I pulled it away and took another shot.
"I'm fine." I gave Anthony a look then walked back to the dance floor. I was so angry at him I thought it was going okay but then again we weren't together. A song I used to dance to at the bar came on and I knew I had to dance. I felt someone's hands on me and turned to see this tall handsome stranger. I wasn't interested in him but I just wanted to dance so I didn't stop him. He grinded up against me as we danced. I looked towards the booth and Anthony's blonde friends were still there but his eyes were on me. I just carried on dancing.
I walked off the dance floor and towards the bar. I ordered 3 tequila shots and downed them all one after the other. I turned around and the guy I'd been dancing with was there. He placed his hands on my hips and leaned in for kiss, I pushed myself off and started walking to the booth.
"Hey you can't dance with me like that and not want it." He grabbed my arm.
"Well I don't do get off." I yanked my arm away and got to the booth.
"Everything okay there?" John asked as I sat next to him, noticing the girls were still here.
"Yeah just another asshole" I said as I stared right at Anthony.
"John I'm just gonna go back to the hotel, this was a bad idea coming out and I don't want to stay and watch that." I tilted my head towards Anthony and John nodded.
"Okay here's my key, be safe getting back okay." I kissed his cheek and walked away.

As I got back to the hotel I felt a pit in my stomach, what if he brought one of them back? I decided to change into his black too he gave me and just my underwear. I walked up and down the balcony smoking and then heard the hotel door go. I figured the guys were back but to my surprise it was just Anthony. I walked back inside to greet him.
"What the fuck was that?" He said as he threw his jacket on the couch.
"What the fuck was what?" I was so angry at this point, who did he think he was?
"Letting that guy dance with you like that? Thinking I wouldn't notice." He started raising his voice so I raised mine.
"Oh I'm sorry so you did notice in between flirting with those 2 girls. I was dancing big fucking woop, it's not like I was fucking him! Why do you care anyway it's not like your my boyfriend!" I shouted as Anthony walked towards me trying to hold my hands.
"No don't fucking touch me Anthony! You come in here starting something because I danced with some guy while you had 2 girls practicing licking your face off! I'm not here to argue with you and I'm not here to be your little toy. To be honest right now I don't know why I'm here! Why am I here?" I could feel tears forming in my eyes as I kept shouting.
Anthony didn't say anything, he walked over to me grabbing my face with his hands and just kiss me. It was the type of kiss that makes you want to stay there forever. We got more passionate and his hands worked there was down to my ass.
"Jump." He whispered in between us kissing and I jumped into his arms wrapping my legs around his waist. We carried on kissing as he directed me into his room. He put me down and placed his hand on my cheek. I had my fingers on his belt loop, he undone his pants and pulled them off, next was his T-shirt. He was just in his boxers and then he lifted my T-shirt off. I hadn't put my bra back on so I was just in my panties.
"We don't have to." He said while placing kisses down my neck.
"No I want to." I moaned as I played with his boxers. He picked me up and threw me on the bed while taking off his boxers. I looked and saw him playing with it, i sound like such a slut but god I missed it.
He gently removed my underwear and kissed up my thigh. He made his way between my legs and he was facing me staring deeply into my eyes. He thrusted himself in and made love to me gently and passionately. It was different to the last time we had sex, he was more loving and caring. We made love until we both came at the same time.
We layer next to one another I'm each other's arms for a while before he fell asleep, I couldn't fall asleep.  I felt safe I'm his arms but I was just worried, I was scared that I would end up being someone he didn't want when all I wanted for the rest of my life was him.