If You Have To Ask

• Part 24 •

As I sat there, writing on my balcony, I could almost feel the zen drain out of me when my phone rang. I decided to let it ring out, I was busy. But it rang and it rang....

"Whoever this is should know I'm very busy and don't have time for phone calls"

"Hi"

Oh god my heart, I swear it just fell out of my arse. He sounded sad, defeated and almost broken. It had been 3 weeks since I turned my back on Anthony for the second time and the only thing making it any easier was the fact that recording for my album started tomorrow!

"What do you want Anthony?" God don't be a bitch.

"I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Okay so now you have. Bye"

"No, no! Wait! Let me talk"

"I really don't have time."

"I love you Faye, with my whole heart" not what I was expecting him to say. I froze on the spot, I couldn't even talk.

"Anthony I'm busy." I felt like such a bitch.

"Please forgive me, I fucked it up and I know I was wrong and I'm sorry just forgive me."

I could almost feel the desperation in his words.

"I don't have time for this today! You should have thought about it before you broke me. Again!" And with that I hung up hoping it wouldn't start ringing again.

I decided to take my writing to the studio. I feel more relaxed in there, like it's all about my music as it should be. But all I could think about was Anthony.

As I was walking to the stupid a sudden wave of dizziness came over me. I tend to forget to eat sometimes so I stopped off at a cute little café down the road and got myself a sandwich and a coffee. I love coffee, anyone who knows me know I love coffee. Fred always says I'd turn into coffee if I could. At that moment my cell rang. Speak of the devil.

"Hey gorgeous" I smiled down the phone.

"What's up honey? Where are you?"

"Going to the studio why?" I could sense the uneasy tone in his voice.

"You have a package. I think it's from John but I'm not sure. Want me to open it just in case?" God he is such a good friend.

"Yes please." I managed to get that out then was nearly sick at the smell of my coffee.

"Honey are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah I'm good, think my coffee was funky. Anyway have you opened it?"

"Yeah. It's from John, I'll let you see it when you get home. Text me if you want a ride, love youuu."

"Okay bitchface, love you byeeee."

As I hung up the phone I got to the studio. My coffee situation really annoying me. I was greeted by lots of smiley and hopeful faces. God I loved it here.
Rick let me use his private recording studio while he had no other clients in the city at the moment. I didn't expect to see him there as I entered.

"Oh hey. Sorry I wanted some space to write, I can go if you want..." I tiptoed in as he seemed fully focused on something.

"Hey, no no it's fine. We can have a pre-recording practice if you want?" He asked turning all his attention on me.

"I'd love that." I put my bag down and got out my note book.

"What you been writing here." He pulled out the loose sheets from my notebook and my heart dropped.