The Big Dipper

Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes

— By order of —

The Ministry of Magic

Dolores Jane Umbridge (High Inquisitor) has replaced Albus Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-Eight.

Signed:

Cornelius Oswald Fudge

Minister of Magic

The notices had gone up all over the school overnight, but they did not explain how every single person within the castle seemed to know that Professor Dumbledore had overcome two Aurors, the High Inquisitor, the Minister of Magic, and his Junior Assistant to escape. The explanation for that was Ursula, who thought it best to undermine Professor Umbridge's authority as quickly and secretly as possible, in this case by spreading surprisingly accurate gossip around the school.

No matter where Ursula went within the castle next day, the sole topic of conversation was Professor Dumbledore's flight, and though some of the details might have gone awry in the retelling (Ursula overheard one second-year girl assuring another that Fudge was now lying in St. Mungo's with a pumpkin for a head), it was surprising how accurate the rest of their information was.

"Dumbledore will be back soon enough," said Lilian confidently. Ursula had gone straight to the library to relay the whole thing to Lilian and Blossom.

"Did you hear that she tried to go back into his office last night after they'd searched the castle and grounds for him?" said Ursula. She smirked. "She couldn't get past the gargoyle. The Headmaster's office has sealed itself against her."

"Serves her right," said Cassius as they headed to Charms.

"Apparently she threw a bit of a tantrum when it wouldn't let her back in," said Ursula.

"I expect she really fancied herself sitting up there in the Head's office," said Adrian. "Crazy old bat."

Despite their wild criticism and general distaste for Professor Umbridge, Ursula, Cassius, and Adrian had all joined the Inquisitorial Squad when she had come down to the Slytherin common room to announce its formation that morning.

The Inquisitorial Squad was formed entirely of Slytherins who 'supported the Ministry of Magic and their Headmistress' or at least pretended to. They had each been given a little silver I to wear on their robes and the power to dock points from all of their fellow students, though the first person to attempt to dock points from Lewis Clark, the Head Boy, got a week's worth of detention and fifty points from Slytherin. The entire Inquisitorial Squad was also, despite their outrage upon discovering the DA, members of the League of Laurels; even Draco was involved, making his hypocrisy palpable.

Of course, the first thing that this new power was used for was to abuse it, as Draco and his friends invariably began to take away meaningless points from people they didn't like. This was a common practice throughout the squad, although it had its uses; Cassius docked Jacob ten points for being rude to Lilian over Muggle Studies.

Professor Umbridge's new power only emboldened the students to take action against her, and Fred and George didn't make it one day before rebelling.

Professor Umbridge called Ursula to her office shortly before lunch on Thursday. Her office was the same as usual except for the large wooden block lying across the front of her desk on which golden letters spelled the word HEADMISTRESS; also Fred and George's Cleansweeps and Harry's Firebolt were now chained and padlocked to a stout iron peg in the wall behind the desk. Professor Umbridge was sitting behind the desk, busily scribbling upon some of her pink parchment, but looked up and smiled widely at her entrance.