The Bite of Winter

Jon

Three weeks after Asha's arrival at Castle Black

Greyjoy sat across from his with a smile on her face, chewing on an apple. Her boots were almost always on her desk as she leaned back in her chair. She reminded him of Theon. Was it the way that she was always smiling as if life was a joke? Or maybe it was her constant crude comments. Whatever it was, her brother had that trait as well.

Over the course of her stay at Castle Black, Asha Greyjoy had thorn her way through everyone that she deemed worthy, except for one person. As Lord Commander, Jon could have punished these men for going against their vows, but how could he punish them for forsaking their vows when he had done the same? 

After the first two weeks of her stay, she started to follow him around, making japes whenever an opportunity presented itself. His time with Lady Melissandre made him grow accustomed to an unwelcomed shadow, but with Melissandre, a closed-door or dismissal would be enough for him to get a moment of peace. Asha didn't seem to care. 

As she was King Stannis's ward, Jon was unable to have her forcibly removed, so he humored her when he could and ignored her comments when he had to. 

Ghost gnawed on the bone of a horse that had died a day prior, his body laid stretched across the open doorway to Jon's solar. 

"Lord Commander." Edd stood at the door, "Ser Allister requested your presence in the dining hall." 

Jon's eyes shot up from the ledger he had been reading. "I'll be there in a moment."

Edd bowed shallowly. A smile formed on Asha's lips. "Ser Allister?" She hummed. "You're in for a treat." She truly did have a beautiful smile.

 "Yes. I would imagine that he has plenty of... concerns." Jon chose his words carefully. 

He put down his ledger and pulled his cloak over his shoulders. The wind outside was cold enough to kill a man in minutes if he was exposed to the elements. Asha tugged her's on as well. "It's fucking cold." She mumbled as she did nearly every time she went outside. She started towards the door. "Ghost, come on." She called.

Ghost lifted his head but didn't budge. When Asha had first arrived, he didn't trust her. Jon could feel how his fur stood on end when she walked into a room, but eventually, he began to relax around her. Now he seemed rather indifferent. He never allowed him to pet him but didn't mind her company. He returned to his done, trying to get the marrow out of the center.

Asha glared at the dire wolf. "Fat ass." She turned to Jon. "One of these days, he will come when I call."

"Perhaps." His eyes rested fondly on the dire wolf, whose attention remained on the bone. "Ghost, to me."

Ghost whined softly and groveled his way to Jon's feet. Once he reached his destination, he returned to his bone happily. His belly never left the ground.

Asha burst into laughter. "It seems like you have a very well-trained pup there."

A ghost of a smile found its way onto his lips. Deep down, Jon knew that Theon wasn't the only person that Asha reminded him of. During moments like this one, he saw Ygritte in her. Jon knew that falling in love with Ygritte was a mistake, but he couldn't stop it. He tried so hard not to, but as his time with the wildlings went by, he found himself looking for her in a crowd, laughing at her japes and sitting near her whenever they broke their fast. 

This would not be like it was with Ygritte. He had too much responsibility now. He had soiled his honor once, it could not happen again. For months after Ygritte, Jon had wondered what his father would have said. Jon had been the one stain on Eddard Stark's honor, hopefully, Ygritte would be the one stain on Jon's. His heart ached just thinking of her that way. He should have run away with her when he could. But his honor hadn't let him. Now, honor was all he had left.

Asha's laughter had died and now she looked at him, curiosity in her eyes. "What are you thinking about?" She asked.

"You just remind me of someone."

"Theon?"

"Yes." It wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth.

"I barely remember my baby brother." She practically spat out the words, as if they left a sour taste in her mouth. "He was taken when he was ten."

"And then he came to Winterfell..." This is the first time that Theon had come up. Jon knew that she must have questions about him, and Jon wasn't sure if he was necessarily the person to tell her about her dead brother. He and Theon had never gotten along. Robb would have been able to tell Asha everything about Theon, not just his faults. Jon found himself thinking of Robb daily now. He had always known what to do, how to lead. Even in the Night's Watch, Jon couldn't help but feel like Robb would have been better suited.

Asha nodded slowly. "You better be going. You would hate to keep Ser Allister waiting."

"Aye." He agreed. She stepped out of his make-shift solar and into the armory. He followed, already feeling the cold nip at his exposed face. 

She turned to him once more, with a hand on the doorknob. "Be careful, Jon. Nothing is more dangerous than an angry crew." The wind hit his face as she left. Her words echoed inside his mind. Lady Melissandre had given him a similar warning just the day prior, "It is not those foes who curse you to your face that you must fear, but those who smile when you are looking and sharpen their knives when you turn your back. You would do well to keep your wolf close beside you. Ice, I see, and daggers in the dark. Blood froze red and hard, and naked steel. It was very cold."

He knew that most of his men hated him for allowing the Wildlings south of the wall, even the ones that understood his choice hated him. He could only pray to the old gods that honor would hold his men to their Lord Commander.

With that thought itching in his skull, he stepped out and into the cold. 

Kinda related side note but I feel like Ned Stark giving Jon and Robb 'the talk' was probably super traumatizing for them. Cuz Jon was literally terrified of having a bastard and Robb married the first girl he hooked up with bc of 'honor'. It was probably like the ASOIAF version of that one Mean Girls scene where Coach Carr was like "if you have sex, you will get pregnant and die."