Phoenix

chapter twenty

When I got home, kyle was sprawled across    the floor with pieces and chunks of food all over his face.

I've seen like this before, just once... He only did this when he was slowly sinking into depression.

Maybe this family fiasco thing was really taking things from him.

"Ohhhh....... you're back"he groaned as he stood up, I shouldn't have left him alone, at least not now.

He must have spent all morning thinking about his family.

"Am going to be in my room"he spoke quietly as he walked aimlessly this room.

"Kyle stop it"I said

"What did I do"he cleaned his shirt like it would make him disappear.

"Look at you, you look terrible"

"Am fine, just took a day off to relax"

"This isn't relaxing... you're becoming depressed again"

"Am fine okay"

"This isn't fine"

"There's no need to be worried, it's just a phase"

"Why don't you ever listen"

"Eve.....am fine, perfectly fine"

"Talk to them"I whispered loud enough for him to hear me.

He simply ignored my suggestion and locked himself in his room.

I didn't want to leave him like that, so I followed him.

"Kyle..... open the door"

"No"

"You need to get out"

"I function better indoors"

"Am going to the carnival, with Jason" I lied hoping it would trigger him to come out.

Silence.

"Would you like to come"

Still nothing
I took a deep breath.

"I know it's been hard for you, from charlotte to your family to Mike"

I regretted saying that name, no one had mentioned mike's name since he died.

"It should have been me" he finally said.

"And am glad it wasn't, I don't know what I would do without you".

"You don't get it"

"I do...and am sorry, am sorry charlotte did that, am sorry your family kicked you out and am sorry you couldn't save mike"

I was crying now.

Three months

Three months, kyle didn't say a word, didn't leave his house or room, three months I watched him sink further and further until I was scared he would hurt himself and he did.
I was at the office when I got back he was already unconscious I called the ambulance and sat next to him until he opened his eyes.
I thought I was going to lose him.
I didn't want to lose kyle.

"He was drunk and I knew, I refused to drive because I was lazy"

"Please open the door kyle, I don't want you to hurt yourself"I begged.

Silence

The silence was killing me, I still felt guilty about that day, if I was with him, then he wouldn't have hurt himself.
Seeing his lifeless body on the floor brought me nightmares.
The thought of him becoming depressed again,I couldn't handle.

"Please"I hiccupped.

"Please come out... kyle, I can't do this again"

"Kyle.. please"

My tears soaked my scarf.

He finally  opened the door and I jumped on him, crying my eyes out.

"Please don't cry...am sorry"he hugged me.

"You scared me"I held him like he would die if I let go.

"I won't hurt myself again, I promise" I didn't believe him, I wanted to, but I didn't

&.&.&.

I made him stay in my room until he fell asleep.

And as I watched him sleep, I realized that I might be in love with him.

Oh my goodness, am in love with Kyle