The Hots (mxm)

25. The Theory of Evolution (Sam)

 [Trigger warning: graphic violence ahead 😉

 This incident is fictitious and has no connection to real events 😉😉]

   We are all lined, leaning on the wooden picked fence, which divides the front-yard flower garden from the back yard where the animals are kept. Barney, who, despite mom's glares, managed to slip between me and Alec, is doing the same, standing on his hind legs and pretending to be very interested in the conversation. I'm stunned how much he's grown up for the few weeks I haven't seen him. He's reaching up to my shoulder in this position.

   There are no more sheep, pigs and cows like before, but it's teeming with birds. This obviously is my mother's new hobby. She points to one or the other, enthusiastically telling about the breeds to Alec, who is all ears, as if the types of poultry are the most important thing in the world.

   "Do you see those with the blue heads and the speckled feathers?" Mom shows proudly. "These are Guinea fowl. Do you see how they always move together in a flock. They are fearless hunters and sleep up there on the top of that high acacia. It doesn't bother them at all that it's thorny. I guess they still think they're in Africa."

   Alec starts giggling, bouncing on his feet. Barney finally manages to lick thoroughly his hand, wagging his tail like a rotary fan. My Peppercorn giggles louder, hugging the furry mischief. I bet he's already the dog's favorite new friend. 

   Mom is on cloud nine, having found someone so eager to learn about her little zoo. "And the snow-white, big hens are California Whites, the best layers you can find. Each is laying up to three hundred extra-large, pure white eggs per year. All my neighbors are coming to me before Easter. The colors look fantastic on them."

   "Really? Can we use some to prepare a dessert?" Alec squeaks. "White eggs are the best!"

   "Of course, darling," she nods with a broad grin on her face. "Do you already have something in mind?

   "Yes, I actually do," Alec beams. "What about caramel custard pudding with raspberries?"

   "Oh my! How decadent! I love it!" Mom wraps an arm around his shoulders, glaring at the dog again. The competition for my cute boyfriend's attention is going to be fierce.

   "Can you bake sponge cakes?" Rose asks. "I am good at baking, but my vanilla butter cake never gets as fluffy and juicy as I want."

   "Sure," he nods happily. "I'll tell you a secret that will make it always as moist and tender as a rain cloud. We can make one together. I would like to ask for one of your recipes too. Your cherry jam muffins are exquisi... " He immediately shuts up with a startled expression. Both Rose and Alec instantly turn scarlet and pin their eyes on a large, dark feathered, male turkey with purple head and long, red wattles on the neck which is strutting, fanning out it's tail, puffing up and gobbling loudly.

   "Come on!" mom chuckles. "Sam told me about the 'cock' incident. It was a misunderstanding, Rose. It's time to get over it. But even if it's true, my Sam has quite a view to show. Am not I right, honey," she winks at me. 

   "Mom!" I huff. I should definitely stop telling her everything about my tattoos and piercings.

   Rose crosses herself quickly and scurries to the house, shaking her head and muttering, "With all this encouragement, I won't be surprised if he paints his face as well soon. We'll talk again then."

   Mom laughs out unfazed and pats me on the back, "Am I a bad person for provoking her from time to time. She really needs to relax a bit."

   I hear Alec's excited shout before I can answer. "Sam, look at this!" he's pulling on my sleeve. "Oh, my God! I've never seen such a beautiful bird. He's a piece of art. What a handsome guy!"

    A big, plumose rooster is stepping confidently across the yard, surrounded by a horde of chubby, brown hens. His orange neck and long, olive green tail are shining in the sun, outstanding in the middle of the caramel and chocolate shades of his harem. He's making a gentle "perp-perp", showing them insects or corn on the ground, shaking his big, bright red comb while bending forward.

    "Oh, these are my Lohmann Brown chickens. The bad boy is called Henry. It's a pity that this rowdy is so territorial," mother starts explaining, but shrieks the next second, "Alec, no!"

   My Peppercorn has already opened the wooden gate and is striding determinedly towards the plumy devil. The hens immediately start clucking indignantly and pile up in a fluffy huddle behind their protector. The rooster pins his yellow eyes on Alec, lowering his head and starts dancing around, flapping his wings. 

   "Babe, run back," I shout, dashing towards him, but its too late. The mad bird produces a piercing, angry crow and pounces on him. Alec is so startled that he freezes in place with no attempt to escape, hiding his face in his palms.

   "Shoo!" I scream, trying to kick the aggressor, but he's too quick and only gets more enraged, clawing at our legs. The uproar in the yard is unimaginable. It seems that every inhabitant feels obliged to express their favor to one or the other fighting party by quacking, cackling, chirping and making as much noise as possible.

   Alec finally comes to his senses and jumps on me with a shrill scream, straddling my waist, almost knocking me down on my back. It turns out to be the worst idea ever. Henry instantly uses the opportunity to attack my boyfriend's exposed butt with his beak, tearing his pants and leaving a bleeding bruise on his left butt cheek. 

    Barney is our savior in this desperate situation. His loyal heart can take no more of our suffering. He throws himself like a furry tornado between us and the viscous bird. I run out of the yard with the shaking Alec in my arms while Henry and Barney engage in a ruthless battle. Fur and feathers are whirling in the air. The opponents have equal powers. No one gives up.

   "Dearest God!," mother groans. "What shall I do! Poor Henry! Oh Dear! Poor Barney!" Her gaze falls on Alec's bleeding ass and she exclaims, "God help me! Poor Alec!"

    Yeah, mom! It's clear. There are no winners here. I would interfere if I wasn't too busy to soothe my sobbing boyfriend, although, I have no idea what could be done to stop this utmost savagery.

   The epic collision is put to its abrupt end, by the only reasonable person around. Rose comes with a house-pipe in her hand. The cold stream of water quickly restores the harmony in the back yard. Henry walks away proudly, followed by his ladies, full of satisfaction that he has won their admiration again.

   Alec and Barney are limping towards the house side by side, two pitiful survivors of a face-to-face meeting with a direct descendant of the dinosaurs.

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Photo by samuel howell from istockphoto.com

A/N

Hello at the end of chapter 25!

Thank you so much for reading and supporting! 

I hope everyone is ok and no one is too shaken? 💗💗💗

Have you had an encounter with an aggressive bird?

No more scary chapters. Now Sam will have to take care of Alec's injured butt. 😀

Share your thoughts, ask questions, and criticize if you think it's necessary.

And don't forget to vote if you liked the story.

Love: Anny