Dream

A Change of Scenery

What am I doing? What day is it? How much time has passed? How many times have I asked myself that? I don't know. I don't know the answer to anything.

Things turned darker than ever, colder and lonelier. I no longer myself, it was as if I turned into the person I never saw myself as, a stranger better to put it. All these emotions built inside of me turned into the same apathetic and nonchalant expressions, no matter how much I tried to let myself feel, nothing changed. I hated it. I hated myself. I turned weak and pitiful.

This isn't me.

He didn't come back. He hasn't since that day. I had no reason to keep track of how Kieran's been gone for. There was no reason to want him come back let alone see his face. The longer he was gone; the better. I could care less is he disappear for a month.

I rolled onto my side, holding onto my body.

When did I eat? I don't know-
I'm not really hungry. Nothingness was enough to fill me up. It tossed my insides around but I knew if I wanted to throw up nothing would come out. My eyes slowly shut tightly.

I struggled to push my weight up from the ground off the bathroom. It took me a while but eventually I was able to lean myself against the cabinets that had more worth than me. I huffed out tiredly and pushed past the dizziness clouding my head to get up and wobbly walk out.

The distance never felt this long, I knew this was a big room but right now the door felt miles away. I closed my pulsating eyes, focused on my heart beating through my body as cold sweat began to roll down my hot body. I pushed myself off the wall to take a step closer to the door but my spinning head and weak knees went against me. I fell to the cold ground and held my tense stomach, trying to get myself together for at least a cup of water.

Fuck. I inhaled sharply, succumbing to the sickening pain in me. It was hot and cold all at once, my skin itched inside-out and...
God it even hurts to think.

I rested my eyes, hugging my body helplessly waiting for this to pass over. Camile would always make me tea and soup when I felt bad.
My lips whimpered into a smile. We'd watch a movie. Sometimes Meek would come over too. With nothing left to cry out, my eyes only burned.

What did I do to deserve this?

My thoughts were interrupted by the front door slamming shut followed by distant footsteps downstairs. My irritated eyes shot open, following the sound of his steps slowly making their way here. Even if I tried to get up, I'd fall down, every movement made whatever condition I was in worse. Playing my best bet, I shut my eyes and hugged my body. Listening closely.

The room door clicked open sending a familiar tingle down my spine. In my heart, I prayed he was at least in a decent mood. My controlled breath made my body even hotter than before, sending waves of strong heat pass over me.
Kieran's steps wandered the room until I felt them walk right past me.

Did he see me? His steps came back and halted right behind me. My eyebrows furrowed by themself. Ugh, I feel like I'm going to pass out.

A colder hand pressed against my exposed arm, I flinched at the touch as it strangely hurt. Like the sting of a smack. Kieran pulled away only to touch my head, giving me another painful sensation.

He said nothing and walked away from my nearly unconscious body until his footsteps were only heard from afar.
What is he doing? He's too quiet.
    Kieran's steps came back along with the sound of him setting something on the nightstand.