Levi's Journal

Volume 3 Entry 13

Day: 16
Month: June
Year: 854

Its hard to get close to people when there is a good chance that they will die soon. I learned that the hard way.

I was doing something that I swore not to do after losing Isabel and Farlan. I was getting close to people. To Hange, to Erwin.

I was also getting closer to Eld and Gunther. They were the youngest soldiers in my squad. Yet they were the most talented. It was a beautiful to see such a close friendship. The two were like a pair of brothers, always having each others back.

They also tended to get into trouble. One dragging the other home from the pub, playing minor tricks on each other.

While I would discipline them, I couldn't help but think back to the times that I had with Farlan and Isabel.

It also built trust. Trust is what kept people alive outside the walls.

No matter how many scouts we lost, I always was a bit relived when Gunter and Eld would be ridding back with me on a horse, and not in a cart.

Three years later, Erwin picked me to form a new special operations squad. Erwin was planning something big. I just didn't know

Petra and Oluo had been in the Survey Corps for almost a year now. They weren't in my squad originally, but when their squad leader was killed in an expedition, they were needing to reassign those scouts left behind to a new squad.

I had seen them both in training several times. They didn't go on the expedition that killed their first squad leader. But I was impressed with what I saw. While Oluo was a bit arrogant, and Petra a bit naive they both were a strong fighting force.

I spoke with Erwin. Then spoke with the everyone I had picked out.

Petra and Oluo were both very eager to join. Back then my reputation proceeded me. I was honest with them, talked about what it was like going beyond the walls.

Oluo reminded me a bit of my younger self. Feeling a need to prove himself, confident, yet with a sense of hidden insecurity.

Petra was young, kind, but a bit headstrong. When I first saw her, I was hit was a wave of emotion. It was like looking at a younger Isabel.

Sometimes it was hard to look at her. It was hard to look at Eld and Gunther. Being reminded of what I had lost. Trying not to let anyone in. I was already risking my sanity with Hange, but I was also confident in Hange's knack for staying alive.

I was happy to see that Eld and Gunther seemed to take Oluo and Petra under their wing.

Oluo instantly fit in with Gunther and Eld. Though they teased him like a younger brother, and saw Petra as a sweet younger sister.

They would always tease her for how she admired me. Her admiration didn't go unnoticed.

There were a lot of things about Petra and Oluo that didn't go unnoticed.

It was their first expedition outside the walls. It was terrifying for them. People they had grown to know and care about were dying in front of them.

Petra watched in horror as a Titan nearly consumed Oluo. I wasn't about to have that happen again, managing to kill the Titan.

I could tell by the look on Petra's face that Oluo was more than just a good friend to her.

It wasn't until the next evening. I found Oluo on laundry duty. He was still shaken from his first time on the outside. His hands were fumbling as he was trying to scrub blood stains out of a uniform. One of his closest friends from training had died yesterday, and he had nearly died too.

I remember reaching towards the crate of dirty clothes when Oluo caught my hand.

**********************************************
Levi closed his eye for a moment. Listening to the stillness of the night, letting his mind wander...

"Um sir I wouldn't touch those" Oluo said, grabbing my hand.

"There a problem"

"Look...please don't say anything and don't act like you know. Eld and Gunther are giving her enough flack for it"

"Oluo what happened?" I asked.

He looked around to see that no one had entered the laundry room.

"Petra...she pissed herself, I think she got scared after seeing what we saw out there."

"She wouldn't be the first"

"Well I knew she would feel isolated and upset so..."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "You pissed yourself too"

Oluo nodded looking down at the wash tub.

"Look I just, didn't want her to feel alone, yesterday was incredibly hard...and that's what you do for someone you really care about..."

"You must care about Ms. Ral a lot"

"Yeah we met in the cadet corps. She was one of the only people who was genuinely nice to me. She's...incredible"

I noticed the slight blush spreading across his face.

"I gotta make sure nothing happens to her"

There was a silence.

I put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry...about Jackson"

"We were childhood friends...we thought we were going to save humanity" Oluo said with a sad laugh.

"That's the reality of our situation. You try not to get close to people but it happens, and eventually those people do die. All we can do is keep moving forward."

Oluo looked tired.

"Look just washing the piss stained pants and I'll finish up the rest. You go get some sleep. But before you do go check on Petra"

"Yes sir"

Some noise in the street below brought Levi back to reality.

He massaged his fingers and went back to writing.

*****************************************
After that night. I knew that there was something special between Petra and Oluo.

Like Hange and me.

But I kept my word and didn't mention the pissing incident.

I remember the next morning at breakfast. Eld was nearly in tears laughing as he told me.

The next thing he knew, Petra was elbowing him hard in the ribs.

I never realized until it was too late, how much I enjoyed those small moments.

-Levi Ackerman