Lonely Secrets: Yellowstone Ranch Series

22

"What he said wasn't wrong." I took a swig from my beer. The old rocking chair creaked against the floor boards of the porch. It was too cold to be outside in the evenings anymore. I wanted to talk Kayce into getting us a propane stand up heater so I could stay out here without shivering.

The dusk sun was setting behind Kayce as he appeared in my view on the steps. I couldn't look at him though. He was about to know all my secrets.

"Ada-" He shook his head as he walked up the stairs.

"I know you think you're a bad man, Kayce. But you're not." I sighed. "My dad was a bad man. He was a traumatized old army vet. Who hated my mother and had every right to but shouldn't have been left alone to raise a daughter."

Kayce kneeled down in front of me and rested his hands on my knees. "We don't have to do this now. We can talk when you're ready."

I responded immediately. "I'll never be ready."

"I can wait until then." He face was somber again. Typical Kayce. The kind of face that doesn't budge when he speaks. Only those big browns eyes and his lips move when he says something serious.

I bit my tongue between my teeth. "Thats really not fair to you. I've heard all your dark secrets. I shouldn't keep mine from you." I reached out and held the side of his face with my cold hand.

He sighed and removed his cowboy hat, tossing it onto the chair beside us. "You haven't even heard the start of 'em baby. We'll talk when you want to." He patted my leg and then stood up. "What are we thinking for dinner?" He kissed my forehead quickly and then started instead.

"Is he alive?" I asked, my voice cracking. I looked over my shoulder at him. "Did you kill Walker?"

"No." He clenched his jaw after he said it. It made me worried. "I'm trying to work on that."

I couldn't help but break into a little smile. It was inappropriate timing but it made my chuckle. Maybe it was the stress getting to me and making me delusional.

"Oh, god Kayce." I shook my head, still chuckling and stood up. "Most husbands try to work on their jealousy or not taking the trash out but no. Not mine." I grinned as I met him at the door way.

He was grinning now. "You realize what you said?"

I furrowed my brow and tried to think. "What, did you not take out the trash?" I glanced around him at the trash bin.

Kayce reached out and grabbed my waist, pulling me close to him. He smiled a glowing grin. "You said husband."

"Well..." I bit my tongue. "What am I suppose to call you?" I glanced at his lips. That was dry and cracked from the cold winter winds. So were mine.

He smoothed my hair down and held my cheek. "Whatever you want." His raspy breath humbled me.

I felt my chest tightened. The thing I want to call him. Mine was the first I could think of. But that was cliche. He isn't a cliche man. He's different and special.

I would call him strong. And faithful. And brave. And loving and caring and kind. I would call him the most perfect unperfect man. He had been through some of the worst things I couldn't even imagine and still manages to be so tender at heart. How could such a dangerous and harsh man be so gentle to me?

"How about just Kayce?" I whispered.

"Yeah. That's fine." The corners of his mouth turned upwards. He leaned down and pecked my lips. "Come inside. It's cold and I'm hungry."

"Whatcha want?" I passed by him into the house and opened the fridge. There wasn't much to choose from.

He reached around me and grabbed a beer. The glass bottle clicked and tinked against the shelf as he pulled it out. "Whatever's easy for you, darlin'. I'm gonna take a shower." He kissed my cheek.

"Good. You stink." I teased as he started to walk away.

"Yeah and you smell any better?" He popped open the beer and took a drink from it.

I rolled my eyes playfully. "I do need one."

His eyes narrowed. "C'mon then." He tossed his head in the direction of the bedroom.

My heart raced. I bit my lip. "I need to start dinner." I shook my head, grinning and blushing.

He sat the beer on the island and I soon felt his body press against my back. He reached around and grabbed my breast. "I want dessert first." He whispered in my ear and squeezed tight.

"Kayce!" I squealed, laughing, and slipping from his grip.

He chuckled and snaked his arms around my waist, not letting me escape- not that I would want to. "What's wrong? You don't wanna?" He started kissing on my neck. I giggled and turned around in his arms, now facing him. A smirk was plastered to his face. He licked his lips then pressed them together.

"And see you all wet and naked in a hot shower? Absolutely not." I smiled and I reached up, pushing my lips to his. He kissed me back deeply.

He pulled away, grinning and grabbed my hand, leading me to the shower.

He reached in the bathroom and turned the hot water on. He pulled off his shirt and I saw the multiple scars. I knew they were there and I had seen them a lot. He told me how he got most of them and it made me feel guilty. As he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans, he noticed my change in mood.

"What's a matter?" He ruffled his brow and looked at down at his abdomen. "Do the scars still bother you?" He came closer and put his hands my shoulders. He rubbed down my arms and back up.

I swallowed hard and shook my head. "I mean, yeah a little. I just..." I sighed. "I have some too."

"Okay." He nodded. "Let me see." I pulled off my thermal shirt and turned around. I closed my eyes and waited for him to say something. But he didn't.

I felt his lips touch my skin where I knew the scars still where. He knelt down and kissed across my lower back, holding my hips and then rubbing my thighs. It was relaxing. He stood back up and kissed my shoulders as he unclipped my bra. I slipped it off and leaned back into him. He kissed into my neck.

"I don't care if you have old scars. We've all got them." He ran his rough hands down my stomach and to the top of my jeans. He undid with the button. "But you'll never have any new ones as long as I'm here." I closed my eyes tight, trying to push away any tears. Just tears of relief and old sadness. "You hear me?" He grumbled in my ear and rested his head against mine.

"Yeah." I whispered, the weakness in my voice cracking through.

"Just relax. Let me take care of you, baby." His deep growl melted me.

I took a deep breath and as I let it out I felt a huge weight fall off me. As if he had somehow taken it all away with just his words and touch.