Whispers From Below

Chapter 36

Ryland took me to the castle, a maid had helped and brought me to my new room which had bags and boxes with most of my things in them. Hopefully my poisons were there if not I was about to have horrible withdrawals.

The room was massive, completely white and gold, chests, a wardrobe, desk and bookcase. The bed was just as big as home but had a canopy. There were a few big windows, and my own huge bathroom which I quickly took advantage of. Bathing, washing off the dust, dirt, sweat and blood away.

One of the bags had my salve and bandages though no stitches. "I'm gonna need you to bring a note to Ryland, Binx."

Finding a scrap paper and pen scribbling out a quick note saying I needed a needle and thread because my stitches broke open. Getting myself situated waiting for his return I sat on the bed surrounded by my few bags and a trunk, the only thing that got put away was my knives that were hidden on me from the ball stuffing them under the mattress.

A soft knock on the door then a small woman came in holding a tray of breads and cheeses along with a pitcher of water. "I'm sorry to bother you my lady but I have brought you something to eat and drink. Do you also want help unpacking?"

Looking at her blankly, her face was soft and kind, not much older than Ryland. "I'm not a lady, and I can unpack myself thank you."

It sounded rude but it was true, a lady was someone of royalty and I am very far from that. She curtsied slightly placing the tray down on a table, as she opened the door to leave Binx padded in holding a bag in his mouth. The woman's face was full of terror seeing the big cat now leep on the bed next to me.

Once she left I took the bag taking out the contents of more herbs and the needles and thread. It took me a good while sitting on the bathroom counter to stitch myself up, it was so painful and the wounds so swollen, my hands were just too shaky but after over an hour I had finished.

Rewarding myself with a few glasses of water before sitting back on the bed hugging Binx's large head in my lap. We both took a nice nap since we didn't get much sleep last night.

Waking up just at sunset, an orange pink hue of light illuminated the room making it feel cozy. My legs and core ached from over compensating.

After laying in bed for a bit longer finally caving in I started unpacking, finding my herb box thankfully Ryland had packed it the withdrawals from missing any dose of the poisons were brutal. Since I'd been taking them for years now, my body was full on addicted to them. Taking my dose then putting the box on the desk and continuing with putting things away. No weapons, no armor, my mask wasn't even there he did that on purpose so I wouldn't sneak out while in my condition which at this point did not even sound appealing to me.

Another knock at my door then it opened, Amice had walked in a few guards behind her in the hall, her arms wrapped in bandages from the burns by Kade.

Stood up from bed and curtsied. She smiled "no need for formalities Lily, you know that."

Tightening my lips together, "sorry just still seems right to do."

She walked around the room, looking at my barely unpacked things, "you are too kind sweetheart. It doesn't seem like you've unpacked much."

Petting Binx's head he was perked up looking at the queen, "yeah.. I just woke up from a nap and-"

"I get it, you don't want to be here."

Looking down at my feet, "honestly no, I'd rather be in my own bed but it seems like I don't really have a say in anything I do in my life."

My answer was snappy and irritated, but it was true not being able to do what I wanted was really pissing me off. My life had been fully controlled and to think when I became an adult it would have changed but nope.

"I understand your frustration, but this is what is best. Especially now." She was looking at my neck, the rune marking left behind by Kade, a symbol that he will own me by New Years if the King doesn't tell or give him what he wants.

Crossing my arms sitting down on the bed, "it won't be forever Lily, we truly want you safe and to have a life you deserve."

"I ask of you just please give us a chance." Nodding, "can I atleast go to Poppys and help her at night."

Her eyes roaming over me, "we will see, I'll have to ask Evander and if so we will have to get you guards."

Rolling my eyes far back, "because of last night things are not so good in the city as you probably saw. You being out on the roads is probably not the best for a little bit."

Slumping my shoulders, "I know. I get it."

She sat next to me rubbing my arm, "it's going to be okay, I promise. Now do you want to join us for dinner or shall I send it here for you."

"I'm not very hungry, I am just going to go to bed for the night."

She nodded, getting up "okay but tomorrow morning you are going to come down for breakfast in the gardens okay?"

Looking up at her, "alright."

~~~

The night was brutal with flashbacks of the Rivaak attack, the first nightmare of the night was just an exact playback of what happened. I woke up in a massive cold sweat. After falling back to sleep the next nightmare was me as a Rivaak killing them all one by one, and at the end Jace had cut off my head.

I woke up screaming this time, crying and hyperventilating guards were in my room in seconds as if they were right outside the door, swords drawn and ready. Evander had come in very soon after with Amice right behind him.

"You okay? What's happened Lily?" He was demanding, unable to catch my breath dealing with the panic attack Binx was laying at my feet snarling at them all to stay away from me.

"Evander, I will handle this, you all head out." Amice was touching her husband's arm, "she's just having a rough night, she's okay."

He was hesitant to leave but eventually they all did, Amice poured a glass of water. Binx was watching her closely as she came to me, pulling the chair next to the bed and handing me the glass. She took my hand rubbing the back of it, "take a deep breath Lily, common with me."

Starting to take deep breaths coaxing me to mimic her like Jace did when we were kids. I finally did, watching her face and copying the rhythm. Catching my breath I started sipping on the water, "do you want to talk about it?"

Shaking my head, "no. I don't." Now calming down the only emotion going through my head was to go punch something in the face, or preferably kill something.

"I am here for you, if you ever want to talk or just need someone to sit with you."

"Thank you Amice. I really appreciate you." She stayed with me for a bit until I got tired again. I hated that she was so nice.