Grumpy x Sunshine Drabbles

In The Noon Of Night

Request from Tumblr: "hi! i love your work, and was wondering if you could make a readerxbucky fic for me? specifically for a reader who is really scared of the dark. something along the lines of one night reader is pissing in the middle of the night and on their way back to their room their fear gets so bad that they end up having a small panic attack and require (bf) buckys help to calm down. plus cuddles at the end ofc!"

One thing that was rarely talked about was how fickle triggers truly were. There was no real way to tell what could be triggering.

All you knew it one moment, you were fine.

The next, you were crumbling in on yourself. Coping skills forgotten. Unresponsive. Unreachable.

Sometimes, it was a smell wafting through the air.

Touching metal that felt too close to the steel door that once held you captive.

Darkness.

Darkness was universal.

It was the same everywhere.

So you really thought nothing of crawling out of your warm bed to grab a drink of water. It wasn't unusual to stir awake, a little too warm from the super soldier sized radiator that slept beside you.

Without much conscious thought or effort, your feet instinctually guided you through your apartment to your kitchen.

Grabbing a glass. Pouring water. Taking a large gulp.

There was nothing unordinary or unsettling about any of it. You closed the refrigerator door behind you.

With the room no longer illuminated by the refrigerator light, it was now pitch black, your eyes strained trying to adjust to the dark room.

Purely by happenstance, the streetlights were out, not even remotely visible from your front window.

Still bleary eyed, you blinked once. Twice. Over and over, trying to make out any shape or shadow.

Perhaps it was your mind muddled by sleep. Perhaps it was just bad luck.

All you saw was darkness. A vast, unending void.

There was nothing.

Suddenly, the tile beneath your feet felt less like sleek ceramic tile and more like your old concrete prison.

The silence became a loneliness you'd thought you'd left behind long ago.

The cold floor sent a chill radiating up your spine that echoed and reverberated through your bones.

It was as though all your years of happiness and freedom were some delusions of grandeur developed as a coping mechanism. In the moment of intense vulnerable remembrance, it makes complete sense to you.

Found families were not so easily found, certainly not ones that incredible. There was not and never would be a person that knew you like you knew yourself. And certainly not one that loved you so wholly and fiercely.

It was more than being back in captivity. It was losing everything all at once.

The sounds of sobs being ripped from your throat tear Bucky from his sleep. He's on his feet before he even realizes it.

He's immediately on guard and alert as he bolts through the apartment toward the sounds of distress.

He smacks the light switch, suddenly illuminating the room. His frantic eyes wildly rake over the room. What he sees, tears his heart into a million little pieces.

The thing was, Bucky understood better than most. He knew what it was to wake in a cold sweat, chest rising and falling with panicked heaves.

He knew what it felt like, for even the shortest of moments, to think that all the light, love, and freedom was a figment of your imagination. It wasn't enough that the memories would live with you for the rest of your life, sometimes, you relived them. He did too. It was its very own trauma in and of itself.

He scrambles over to you. Your figure crumpled on the floor, huddled in on yourself as your tightly embrace yourself.

"Hey," Bucky drops to the floor with a second thought. You're huddled so tightly, he can't pull you out of the flashback. He shakes you, "Hey, hey, you're okay."

"I don't want to go back," you plead with Bucky, tears staining your flushed cheeks. "Please, I don't want to go back."

"Shhh..." he tries to console you, his hands cup each side of your face, finally pulling your eyes away from the floor and onto him. Your eyes are squeezed shut, shaking your head in desperation. "You're not going back. You're home."

"You're home. You're safe," he repeats in a whispered tone over and over again.

Your head sinks down onto his shoulder. After several long moments of kneeling on the floor with you, you relax enough for Bucky to slip you into his arms, locking you in his embrace.

"I don't want to lose you," you whimper into his shoulder.

"Never," he promises.

"You're okay," Bucky softly murmurs, stroking your hair while never breaking his secure embrace. The warmth of the words and the care slowly envelope you, seeping into your frozen, fear stricken heart. You can almost feel it start to beat again. "You're safe. I promise. You'll always be safe with me."