SOULMATES but they are already perfect without me

Part 12

Lily pov

I woke up at noon after hours of nightmares. I wasn't so tired anymore so I decided not to try sleeping any more. It would only bring more nightmares.

I took a quick shower and wore an oversised shirt. Then I walked downstairs slowly. Mom was already gone and I felt that this was the best at the time. I didn't really want to put on a fake smile and tell mom how well the trip went.

I made myself two sandwiches for breakfast and ate them while lazily sitting on the couch. I didn't feel like doing anything and my soulmark was still hurting a bit. It wasn't as unbearable as it was before buti it still hurt.

When I finished my food I decided to make myself some hot chocolate. It wasn't cold, it wasn't christmas or anything, but who cares. I can drink hot chocolate whenever I want. Just like eating ice cream, even though... it makes me fat and even uglier than I am now...

Whatever! I stood up and made my way to the kitchen. I made myself a big cup of hot chocolate and went back to the couch to drink it and relax.

It really helped and I felt a lot better, my body warmed up and with it my heart did too and stopped aching and calling for my soulmate. I put on a playlist of calming music, it didn't see a lot of kpop songs in it, when I scrolled through the list quickly but that didn't bother me. I love music, almost all kinds of music so it doesn't really matter to me which one I'm listening to. 

I closed my eyes while sipping my drink and just enjoyed the calmness. I hadn't felt like this for quite a long time, no fear, no doubts, no insecurities, nothing, just me in the moment, enjoying. Alone. It felt so good to just be alone and listen to my own thoughts and music.

I was just chilling for a few hours. Until...

Bogo shipda

Ireoke malhanikka deo 

Bogo shipda

Neohi sajineul bogo isseodo

Bogo shipda 

Neomu yasokhan shigan

Naneun uriga mibda

Ijen eolgul han beon boneun geotto

Himdeureojin uriga

I froze. I recognized the song from the first two words as I hadn't been paying attention and didn't notice the familiar intro. I started taking deep breaths, as I felt that the air just wouldn't come in. It was as if something pushed down on my lungs and didn't let any air in. 

Yeogin ontong gyeoul ppuniya

Palworedo gyeouri wa

Maeumeun shiganeul dallyeogane

Hollo nameun seolgukyeolcha

Ni son jabgo

Jigu bandaepyeonkkaji ga

Gyeoureul kkeutnaegopa

Geuriumdeuri

Eolmana nuncheoreom naeryeoya

Geu bomnari olkka

Friend

Tears started falling down my eyes as I thought of not seeing Cho again, ever. I really wanted to be near her but I just couldn't.