To Be Or Not To Be

Chapter 7

I am so tired of school, bro. Like, I cannot do this anymore. These three days went by so slowly, but thankfully it's winter break now. I'm going to America for the break, or at least for half of the break, so I think it'll be a really good chance to get some time off. I'm currently packing right now, and I can't find any clothes to put in the suitcase. I became hijabi less than 5 months ago, so I have a lot of short-sleeved shirts that I can no longer wear at my cousin's house.

I decide to just put my usual black hoodie and a couple of other dark-shaded hoodies in the bag, and a couple of desi suits. I love wearing Pakistani clothes, though it hasn't always been this way. I was born in Pakistan, so when I came here, I wanted to fit in, not wanting to speak Urdu or wear shalwar kameez in fear of being called names and bullied. It didn't really help anyway because I was bullied for more than half of my life, lol. But as I grew up, I realized that being able to speak Urdu and have a different culture differentiates me from people, makes me unique.

Recently, I've started wearing shalwar kameez and more desi/Pakistani suits in general. They make me feel so pretty and genuinely just like I can be myself without being considered a 'fob.' Like, okay buddy, if you're uncultured, just say that. No diss.

"Jaldi Karo humney ghar say panch minute may nikalna hai" (Hurry up we have to leave in five minutes) My mom yells from downstairs. I'm just finalizing everything before quickly putting on a jersey hijab without an undercap and going downstairs to load everything in the car. We're driving to America because girllllllll, tickets are so expensive in December for no reason, like what the fuck. My dad isn't going with us because he can't get off work, so it's just me, my mom, and my sister. My sister is sleeping, as always; she's so lazy, she never helps out, but it's fine because she's still a kid, I guess. She's already in the car dozing off while my mom, my dad, and I quickly finish loading the car.

My mom gets sleepy when she drives for a long time, but she also refuses to let me drive when she's in the car with me. That may or may not have to do with the fact that the first time she ever sat in a car with me driving, I may or may not have accidentally hit a car... whoopsies. In my defense, though, she was yelling the whole time before we even hit the dude, so I was distracted. But it's fine; we move. Anyway, as I was saying, since she gets sleepy, she's making me sit in the front to entertain her, so that's fun. Twelve hours in a car, sitting right next to my mom... can't wait.

Okay, to be honest, it's not that bad. It's just that I won't be able to do anything in the front. She said I'm not allowed to sleep, or else she'll get sleepy too. I won't be allowed to use my phone because then she'll get mad. The most I could probably do is watch a movie that I have downloaded on my laptop, but even after that, it's still pretty boring. I decide to plug in some music as the time reads 8:35 am.

the first five  to six hours go by pretty fast as im just looking out the window and enjoying the music. immigration was pretty easy too, we get off at a gas station because my sister had to use the bathroom. my mom takes my sister to the bathroom while i decide to get some snacks. as im waiting in line i open instagram and see that i have a follow request. i dont really care as much but decide to see who it is anyways, the name reads Ali.

wait hold on 

Ali? 

Ali Hussain?

My brain automatically starts doing summersaults, from what i know, Ali does NOT associate with girls at all so HIM following ME is a huge thing.. for me atleast. i quickly press accept before mentally smacking myself.. who accepts that fast he's gonna think im a weirdo. okay whatever, now that he's following me and i followed back i go to see his followers and followings. no weird shit i'm just curious, you know.  to be honest i am a little disappointed because he does follow girls and girls do follow him back, but i cant say anything because i also follow guys and they follow me back. its probably a mutuals thing where u just have them followed but dont talk to them like that. in sha allah its just that because i know i don't text guys like that either soooo.

i see my mom coming back with my sister and i put my phone away in my pocket while trying to hide my smile. i quickly pay for my snacks while my mom and sister go back in the car and then join them. the rest of the trip seems a little more bearable as i have something to think about now. 

i like this 

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chapter 7 is doneeee tbh i was holding back on writing this too because its just a filler like genuinly i had no idea what to write in here. i still have a lot to write because like i said before a lot HAS happend but i dont want to move this story too fast. im also trying to write longer chapters just because i feel like it

oh also i added character aesthetics so be sure to check that out, its right before the first chapter.

another chapter might come out today or in a couple days in sha allah 

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i love you byeeee