Mad World. Mad Love.| Levi x Reader

Chapter 8: To be or not to be?

First Person POV: (Y/n)

To be or not to be? That's the question.

In my head, I've decided which the right answer is. Life is complicated, and it is easier not to be. But what is the meaning of life in general? Is it survive and make sure that one's offspring survive long enough with them to survive on their own? Or is it to look for adventures, to learn something new every day. Is it to live to the fullest, take everything of everything and not cower when strength and courage are needed?

To be is my right answer. Life is meant to be lived. Life is not about just survival, though many would fight me about it. Life is about taking what you can, when you can, when you're offered.

The quote in question came from a play I once read. It is considered a classic. The character who said the lines didn't know the answer. He went on and on speculating about whether to take the pain that life throws at him or to end it. I've speculated over that many times in my life, yet when I think back upon it, I've survived every time. I've chosen to keep going, to take it, to not cower and take my own life. I've chosen to keep living, just as now I'm choosing to fight for my survival, for the survival of human race so the people after me shall survive even if I don't, and one day wither away into nothingness...

Since when do I think this deeply? Fuck me. I must be getting tired.

The troops are scattered, Titans littering the plains, and I haven't the slightest idea what the fuck is going on. I haven't seen Erwin since he got plucked off his horse. If being honest with myself was an option here, I'd admit to myself that he's probably dead... But that isn't an option, so he's alive and fighting somewhere in the chaos.

I'm fighting off Titans the best I can whilst Armin and Mikasa are at Rainer, trying to get Eren back. I've lost all since of time by this point, I have no idea when it turned this messy, but it can't have been too long ago, the sun is still setting.

Thinking of Erwin – I spot him moving through the crowd, straight toward the Armored Titan. Well, he's alive but probably not for long. It's probably bad that I have so little faith in my Commander at this point, but this mission is a fucking mess.

I tuck under an arm that reached to pluck me off my feet and reach for the nearest three to propel myself to the air. Before I could take the Titan on another Scout has taken it out.

"All units retreat!" Erwin's voice sounds over the chaos around me. I glance to the direction of his voice and discover most of 104th already on their horses and galloping away from the Armored Titan, Erwin with them. I don't have the time to farther investigate who's in the group as I whistle for Athena. She comes galloping from the cover of threes and doesn't stop as she reaches me. I grab onto her reigns and swing my leg over her in the momentum. Most of my bones in my body ache at the sudden and rough movements but I grit my teeth and snap Athena's reigns to catch up to the main group.

I join the group at the back where Ymir in Titan form is following, with Connie and Historia sharing a horse in a very awkward angle. I don't even want to know how this happened, but still, I yell, "What the hell is going on?!"

"She's on our side!" Historia immediately enters the defensive.

"I gathered as much, but did they get Eren?" I yell again, not bothering with my usual remarks.

"Yes, they—" A shadow passes over us. I look up and see a Titan flying over my head.

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