Break me until there's nothing left

2

It was as if my soul was tied to her, that my life was meant to be spent with her, that I'm meant to be tangled up to this messed up life that I was living with her.

I was caught up in the net that was called Kim Minji.

I had no escape of her grasp, and even if I had the chance, I wouldn't run to save myself. What even is there to save?

There's slowly nothing left of me, my life had been revolving around Minji for years, what would be the purpose of life without her?

Leaving her would cause all hell to break loose.

But deep down I knew that it was only in my head because I didn't want to leave her.

Especially not now.

I couldn't hurt her in any way, or to bring any damage that would pain her even the tiniest bit.

But would it even hurt her if I left this moment? Would it pang her to know that I would leave her?

Would she feel the tiniest bit of pain because of it? Would me leaving scare her the tiniest bit?

But with the fact that she's hurting me without remorse says more than enough. It wouldn't hurt her at all, maybe even be relieved that I'd be gone.

I could hear the banging against the bathroom door still, getting louder as the seconds passed by, word so intense that fell from her lips that caused me to freeze on the spot.

Words that always managed to halt everything that was me.

"Open the door, or do you want me to break it down on my own?" She asked with a hint of mock as we both knew she was more than capable of slamming that door open.

She even slammed me on the ground one night, her strength was to be taken seriously.

How could a phrase make my blood run cold so easily? Making me feel like a bucket of ice cold water was thrown over me.

Fear consumed me once more when the bangs became slams against the door, if she was able to break down that door, I wouldn't be safe at all anymore.

I wouldn't be safe from her.

Her scent that once lingered was now replaced with the smell of my soap, taking over the one thing that was capable of keeping me calm in this moment.

And with one last slam the door opened, slamming against the wall behind it.

I could see the clear view of her anger and rage, her eyes were gawking at me in a way that made me want to hide away from that gaze.

The smirk that was placed on her lips as she walked towards the glass showers. Making my body shake in the fear she has injected in the stream of my blood.

A fear that runs through me whenever she's near me.

"Oh, Hanni. As much as I hate you, you just do something to me and my body." I heard her say, her words crushing my heart.

Hearing her say she hates me isn't something new, I've heard it more times than I've heard my name.

But regardless of the amount of times she's said it, it still manages to hurt the same or even more at times.

Am I dumb for still loving her?

Especially when she's destroying every last bit of my being? When I'm slowly loosing what is called my life?

I looked at her and down to her pants, the tent more than visible, am I wrong for wanting that part of her sawed off?

For her to feel the slightest bit of pain that is nothing compared to the damage it's done to me?