Break me until there's nothing left

19

Hanni

My mind is in a never ending abyss, thoughts after thoughts ran through my mind, all of them being about Minji.

I looked over at the motionless body that was connected to a monitor, showing me her heartbeat, letting me know that she's still alive.

Barely alive, but it was enough for me. The life support being an aid.

She looked so at peace, after the hell she lived, she deserved to rest...but not for this long. She's been in a coma for two weeks now.

I don't think I can survive much longer without her.

There's no sign of her waking up soon. And it just seemed to tear me apart, I wanted her to open her eyes, because I'm scared.

I'm scared that she won't open her eyes, that all my prayers and hope will be neglected. That I'm going to loose her.

Just the thought shatters me completely.

I scooted my chair closer to her, studying her beautiful features. She was truly stunning. Even when she was angry, or when she was completely out of it, she was beautiful.

"Minji." I called out, tears formed in my eyes, just wishing she could hear me. I reached out for her hand that only seemed to get colder as the days went by.

"Wake up, baby." I said. I hated not being able to hear her, I would even prefer her yelling just to be able to listen to her voice once more.

I was longing for her in the worst way possible.

"We need you." I said, grabbing her hand and placing it against my clothed baby bump. Our baby started to move as if they knew it was her.

I cried, tears streamed down my face. Minji being in this coma was only causing an intense ache in my heart.

No one will ever understand how much I need Minji to open her eyes, to tell me that she's fine.

And like I've been doing for the past two weeks, I made my way beside her on the bed. Carefully trying to slot myself next to her.

Once I made sure we were both comfortable along with the baby and made sure that I wasn't hurting her in any way. I placed my head on her shoulder.

I might look crazy doing this, but I don't care.

It was the only way I could even think of closing my eyes. Sleep seemed nonexistent when I was away from her.

Thinking it was unfair. How could I be falling asleep when she's stuck in a hole of darkness that she can't seem to escape? Maybe it was even worse than that.

I closed my eyes, ready to dream of her and everything we could be doing. It was like my little escape from reality.

In my dreams, Minji was awake, her smile flashing my way as she held the hand of our daughter, running through a beautiful grass field. It always feels so real that I dread to go back to it every time I fall asleep.

I couple seconds of silence went by, I don't think I can even hear Minji's breathing, I could only hear the regular beeping of the monitor.

I suddenly heard a knock, causing my eyes to abruptly open, pulling me away from the dream I was looking forward to. I looked over at the door as it was opening, a part of me was ready to protect Minji.

But then I saw it was just Dr. Choi, doing her regular checkup on Minji. And apparently on me too.

"At this point, I won't even ask you to get off for a moment." She said, a soft smile on her face as she made her way to the bed.