Break me until there's nothing left

10

⚠️

Minji

I sat in front of Dr. Choi's desk, her eyes were locked to the paper placed on her desk. I didn't know of it was a document of my disorders, or a document about Hanni's third seizure.

"I don't know what to do with you, Minji. I'm supposed to be looking after you. Not as your friend, or the doctor that prescribes you all this medication. I'm supposed to be looking after you as the guardian who your parents entrusted you with." I looked away, so we're not talking about Hanni?

Is she even okay?

I heard her let out a sigh, "Minji, despite all the medication I'm giving you, your BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and your DID (Dissociative identity disorder) are only getting progressively worse. No matter how many times I try to change your prescription, nothing happens." She said, and my head lowered.

I never talked to anyone about my disorders besides Dr. Choi , I never even talked to anyone about what happened to me, not even Dr. Choi.

"Minji, even your PTSD is taking over you. All of this is causing you to loose yourself, you're becoming unrecognizable. I don't even want to know what it is that you do to Hanni, but this is enough to show me just how much damage you're doing to her." She said and my head snapped to look at her.

"I didn't deserve what happened to me or my parents."

"Hello there, Minji number 2." Dr. Choi said in sarcasm as she looked at me, a coy look on her face.

"I see you got good at this guessing game now, am I right?"

"It's been a good two years with you, I guess you could say I'm getting better at it." She said, and I shook my head as I heard the chuckle coming from her.

"Hanni deserved to loose that baby, you know? Because of her I was destroyed, my family was taken from me! Right in front of my eyes!"

I watched how Dr. Choi carefully looked at me, trying to put one and one together, trying to connect the dots.

"What happened to you Minji? Who damaged you this much? You never dared to speak about it." She said. I looked at her, what would happen if I told her?

"I don't think you're ready to know, it's a pretty harsh story, like a horror movie of some sort."

"I'm more than ready, I think you're underestimating with what kind of people I work with on a daily, some are even on missions to murder me daily." She said and I let out a scoff.

"I'm trying to help you, it's one of the few ways I can, you have to tell me what happened. If you don't want a psychiatrist, then fine. But you'll have to tell me." She said and I thought about it.

Would it be worth it?

"Why do you want to help me so bad? Why can't you just let me hate her in peace."

"She doesn't deserve it, me and the true Minji know this, it's you, you're not the one accepting it, you're trying to find a way to blame her for what happened." She said, I felt a knot form at my throat as I recalled what happened.

A memory that I swore to store deep inside my brain and let it rot in the puddle of my evil thoughts.

"Tell me what happened Minji, what makes you hate Hanni so much."

-

I made my way out of the Pham's mansion, I had just dropped Hanni off. Her parents are still here so she has a curfew, and they're very strict about it.