The Truth

Part one

I never realised what love was, until I met you, in my eyes love is beautiful. But I had never experienced it. I had crushes ard then when I dated them, the feeling was only there for a couple of days, and then it turned into me just seeing them as friends and nothing else.
But then I found you, you showed me what real love was like. The love that stuck with you throughout all day, every day, every week, every month, and every year.
You showed that you loved me, you took me places, you were always there for me.
I can't express how much you meant to me. I love you, I always will.
When we started to date it felt different that time, it felt happy and that I had found the person I was destined to be with.

There were times that I would lay awake thinking about you. Every time I saw you I always had a massive grin on my face. When my world was full of darkness you were the only light, you led me out of the darkness and showed me what life could be like when I gave it a chance.
You had your problems and I had mine, you always helped me and reassured me with my problems, you made me truly happy. Although sometimes I could sense I was never able to help you. It wasn't because of your problems, it was just because of mine, I was so lost in myself that I never knew how to help you.
When I quit writing I never told you, because I told you that when I was older I wanted to be

an author, you were the person who believed in me, and I liked that. I always had a feeling you did know that I quit. I quit because I wanted to help you with your feelings and I wanted to make you feel safe and welcome to tell me anything or everything.

I remember being on call with you. You were listening to Adele while curling your hair and singing along to the music. I then looked at the screen and looked at myself. I looked pale and disgusting. That night I gave myself the most abuse, you wouldn't even realise how bad it was, while I was doing it your voice came into my head telling me to calm down and everything would be alright.

When my best friend was seriously ill, I told my mum and I then tried to tell you, it took me about an hour to tell you, I cried and cried for days. I was barely in any lessons and you never got annoyed with me for it.

The love you gave me, felt like a movie. It was like Noah and Allie's love.
You always cuddled me and made me feel safe. I never worried about what I looked like when I was with you. I always tried new things like when you took me to Splashdown, I was terrified of going but you reassured me and I had a whale of a time.

You would always try and convince me to keep going and never give up on life. There were times I almost gave up but then I always stayed because I knew if I went, you would be devastated. So I stayed. I'm happy I stayed, but there still were times that I thought to myself I shouldn't have stayed because I always knew you would be more successful in life if I never held you pack.
When we had our sleepover, I knew for a fact that I was loved by you, I never wanted that sleepover to end. But sadly it did. I never wanted to let go of you. I wanted to hug you forever. You were the only person I loved and felt safe with. I went to watch you coach hockey. You looked so professional up there. I sat there on the floor with a hot chocolate keeping my hands warm. I couldn't stop thinking about you, not even for one second.

That one day we got sent home from school because of the snow. I walked with you to your house for you to get changed into something warmer, my mum started texting me asking where I was, and I ignored her. We walked down the road and I got you to text my mum if I could go to Brimsmore with you. Thankfully she said yes and we both had a massive slice of cake.
We then went for a walk. You were so eager to kiss me but then you never did. We got back to your grandparents and built a snowman in the garden.

At school, if I wasn't in a lesson with you I missed you so much, I couldn't wait for break time and to have a hug. I would get so excited about English because I sat next to you and I loved that.

There was never a day that I didn't think about you.