The Truth

Part fourteen

It's the seventh and I feel crap. It's one of my best friend's birthdays today, and I just can't get out of bed. This morning I woke up hoping it was just all a dream. But I read the screenshots Lyra had sent me over and over again. I have been backstabbed.
The fact I told you about my cancer, and now you've gone and done this, how can I trust you when we break up? I want to confront you so badly, I can't go on like this but I guess I need to stay strong and then I will get my time to shine.
I'm taking some time off from dating, after us. This relationship has damaged me. I'm like a fragile package. If something happens I will get chipped away and then when I've been hurt many times I will smash, I will break into a thousand pieces. With a past friendship, my mother and I were accused of things that we didn't do. I've been traumatised by that friendship and I'm scared you're going to do the same thing as those people. But this time, I'm not letting it win. I will fight for my justice.
I hope you are a nice person and not like that family that accused us of things. I am strong and I will get my voice heard. I'm prepared for everything, I always have been. You've acted so innocent this whole time and you've made me look like the suspect in this story. I'm not backing down this time, I will fight for myself and my family, even if that means I have to leave my dream school.
It's now 8:44 in the morning on the eighth of January. Tomorrow is my birthday. I don't like my birthday because I don't like all the attention. I broke up with you this morning and surprisingly you took it well.
I've decided that when I'm thirteen I'm going to change myself around, I'm going to stop drinking, I'm going to accept everything I didn't accept in my life. It's like I'm turning a page in a book which is fresh and has no wrinkles whatsoever.
I'm sorry if my words are harsh but that is what I felt and I'm fed up with hiding my emotions.
All I wanted was to make you happy, I tried so hard to keep that relationship going, even when I was at my worst and hid it from you I still pushed through it for you. I guess I didn't do enough. In some ways, I get why you cheated on me because I'm not good enough and I didn't respect you enough. That's why I'm fixing myself up. I'm not a good person, and I know that, I know you are no longer with me anymore but we're still friends, and I'm always going to protect you.
You keep saying to me that you are struggling with this, how do you think I feel, you cheated on me and lied about it even when I knew the actual story. I gave you that promise ring and I promised you I'd be with you for the rest of my life, but you didn't want me to. I'm not angry, I was but I'm not now, I don't understand how I'm going to cope but l'm going to fight. I chucked all alcohol and weed away this morning, I'm changing myself for real. There's a new me in town.
I still love you, I think I always will. I probably will lose love eventually but I know I need to have a break from everything at the moment, life is hard, but the way we both need to think about it is that there will be happiness. I'm going to help you through this. I will make sure I'm a better person for everyone, and to figure out who I am, I need to be on my own.