The Truth

Part thirteen

I wish I cared about dying a little more, I'm not scared, and I can't wait to die. I hate my life so I guess it's a miracle that I'm dying. I've got a lot wrong with me so I'm not surprised I was diagnosed with cancer, to be honest. I've always wondered what happens after death, I guess we'll never know.
One of the things that annoy me is when someone says they know how I feel, well do they?
Because to be honest I don't think anyone has been through the same things as me. It's like my mind is a concentration camp, I have hell in my head.
On the 6th of January, I was told everything I needed to know. You were cheating on me, My heart shattered into thousands of pieces. Do you realise I quit weed, for you? What the actual fuck was going through your head. Thinking I would be fine with it because you were
"just friends", you were sending inappropriate photos to her and everything. I renamed this book to The Truth because I finally knew the truth about this whole relationship. I know I've been changing tenses in this book but it's a letter to you, and I hope you read it sometime. I seriously thought I could trust you. You may be wondering why I didn't break up with you on the sixth, well turns out Lyra was catching you out, there was also another person but they wanted to remain anonymous in this situation. I guess this brings us to now, you always said to me about how you were always scared to lose me, but guess what, you have, and you brought it upon yourself. I'm never going to trust you ever again. I may still be friends with you when we break up I don't know but I'm prepared for anything you throw at me so go ahead because I'm fucking waiting. I loved you. I honestly don't know how you could do this to me.

My heart is completely and utterly broken because of you. I don't hate you but you really hurt me. If you're in another relationship while reading this then good for you but just so you know, you've now scared me for every single relationship I'm going to be in for my future. I wish you luck in future relationships, I hope you don't do the same to them, it hurts. It hurts badly.