"I'm going under and it feels like there is no one to save me" - Lewis Capaldi
I had a lot to figure out for when I die. Did I want to be with someone when I died or did I want to be single? If I dated someone, I would hurt them because I was no longer with them, but if I was single then I would never meet my true love. So who knows? Was I going to be an author by the time I died? Or was I just going to die knowing I had no achievement in life?
I remember telling you that I had cancer, I don't think you realised until I explained it to you, I told you the same time as I did Evie, i think she automatically knew that I was dying when I told you it was lunch break, Evie knew what I was going to do, she was giggling and smiling, telling me over and over again to just do it already. So that's what I did, I told you that I had cancer, I then looked at you and placed a promise ring on the table, you started to cry because you were so happy, you always would tell me how much you wanted a promise ring and now that I had the promise to make, I did it. Even if you broke up with me like six weeks later, you know what? Yeah, I'd be upset, but the joy we would've had is remarkable, every story has an ending.
If this is all I'm living for then why am I just waiting for my death? Why couldn't I just end it straight away? The world is just playing games with me all the time, I'm fed up with it. I get put through some very dangerous shit,pain,drugs, cancer and I'm in trouble constantly. There are times I just make myself bleed to know that I'm alive.
YOU ARE READING
The Truth
RomanceThe Truth is a true story, This book is about how I loved someone for a very long time, but it's not just that, it's about my struggles, thoughts and feelings but also there is my past. My past is a very messed up sort of thing, I always said I coul...
