Love has messed me up. I hate love, besides it's not even real. Everyone says it is when it isn't. There are so many questions I need answering but you cut all contact with me, so how can I move on without these answers, you may be thinking why can't I just speak to you in person, well it's because I will break down and you will see the weak side of me, so I can't speak to you. The pain is too much. You are going to hate it when you read this, and you already hate me for some reason so I guess you will hate me more. That isn't the case though, this was supposed to be our anniversary thing, my present would be your reaction, and yours would be this, even if your reaction was bad then I wouldn't mind because that's how you feel, and this is mostly for myself to be truthful to you, it was supposed to be the thing that brought me closer to you so then I could work with my problems while we were dating. but now I guess this is just the truth, well some of it anyway, not all the things I went through are in here but most of it is. The start is how much I loved you and then the rest is lust me suffering, wondering how you are coping with this. I just want to talk to you over the phone again, I do not want to be like best buddies but we know a lot about each other.
I can't bring myself to read this and edit it just in case it doesn't make sense, believe me, I've tried but I just can't do it without crying.
There is one thing in here that is a lie, saying that I was going to stop drinking and smoking at the age of thirteen because I had already stopped, the day you said you couldn't trust me I knew had to step up my game, and I had to get out of the addictions, I would lay awake turning and tossing begging myself to give in with this so I can just free myself, but I never did. Please don't make the mistake that I did. I will never forgive myself for what I did to myself. I may say it's the only happiness in life, but after I successfully stopped craving it all, I realised how much it had ruined me. I know you wouldn't do that anyway, but if someone tells you to do it, make sure you DO NOT do it. You are too good for it, you have a life waiting for you unlike me, I've got nothing but pain waiting for me. God knows what's hiding in this drunken heart, everything is so confusing, nothing makes sense.
YOU ARE READING
The Truth
RomanceThe Truth is a true story, This book is about how I loved someone for a very long time, but it's not just that, it's about my struggles, thoughts and feelings but also there is my past. My past is a very messed up sort of thing, I always said I coul...
