Love Bites

To Be With You (6)

"Lage bhi toh yeh aur kidhar ab dil sang tere lag ke!"

The bike ride on the way back home was completely silent as both of them were lost in processing their own thoughts & how they felt about the things going on around. 

Avni frowned in confusion when Neil pressed the button for terrace instead of their floor when they were in the lift. However, before she could voice her concern out, he already answered. 

N - Let's go get some fresh air? - he said while she simply nodded.

All Avni had wanted to do was to sleep over her messed up clutter of thoughts but she couldn't deny Neil when he asked her to accompany him. They sat on the ground as they leaned their backs against the wall & looked at the starry night sky.

No one spoke for a while for Avni just waited for him to speak & Neil was still gathering the strength & courage as he tried to tell her the truth. The truth of his past that had wrecked his life!

Chup ne aisi baat kahi

Khamoshi mein sun baithe!

Janmon jo naa beet sake

Hum woh andhere chun baithe!

N - Avni, I - a sigh left his mouth & he closed his eyes.

You need to tell her, Neil. She deserves to know!  - he thought to himself & then looked at her in the eye while she looked back. 

N - Two years back, I was charged of a murder. - he let out as he kept looking in her eyes. He noticed her eyes widened in shock & he waited for it to turn into fear or pity. However, to his surprise, it never did. In fact, they showed confusion & anger. 

A - But you would never do that! - she mumbled under her breathe but he heard it anyway as she looked down at her lap.

Neil held her chin up with his thumb as he made her look at him. 

N - Let me look at you, please! I won't be able to talk if I don't. - he said while Avni couldn't understand how her heart could go iffy by such simple words. Neil removed his thumb from her chin & rubbed his face with both his hands. I met Juhi in college. We had clicked instantly & became good friends. She was even friends with Ali & Rhea. As time went by, we - he sighed. We started harbouring feelings for each other. The college had organised its annual picnic to Mahabaleshwar, we had completed our first year of college then. It hap-happened there! - he gulped & Avni rubbed his upper arm with her hand gently. On the last day of the picnic, Juhi had asked me to meet her at the hills at five in the morning, the next day. She had texted me about it. I had a feeling that she was about to propose me & I...obviously was going to say yes! So, the next day I went up at the hills & waited for her - for hours! But she never came. - his voice had turned shaky now as his lips quivered with every word he spoke. I went back when it was around ten in the morning & we were supposed to leave. After going back, I found out that she was not there either. We called her, searched for her, but - he took in a deep breathe. But, she was nowhere! After two days, the police - he could feel a burn in his chest as he struggled to let it out. His eyes stinged as fresh tears started to pour out of them & his vision became a blur. Avni's own eyes had started watering up as she watched him in so much of agony. She held his face in her hands as she wiped his tears but they kept flowing more. They found her dead-body  after two days of the picnic. It was an accident, she had probably slipped off the hill & fallen down. But, her family thought that it was planned & they- - he bit his lips to control the sob that threatened to escape. They thought I was responsible for it. The cops believed them too, because her last text & call was to me. I, I was in jail for two days! - he sniffed. My dad got me bail & the lawyers even proved me innocent in the court, but -he exhaled with his mouth. But the people never believed my innocence, everywhere I go, they tag me as a "Murderer"! It had come to a point that I had started having panic attacks every time I went out. I dropped out of college & had shifted to this apartment here so that I could cut all the unnecessary attention of people & the way they looked at me with those disgusted & pitiful eyes. My dad had insisted that I take therapy, & I'm grateful because it did help a bit. I don't have panic attacks as frequent as before, but I still do get them every now & then when something triggers. - he told & took in a deep breathe. In these last two years, Ali & Rhea have been my only pillars of sanity. You know, in the beginning, every time I was alone, I'd have these tendencies of hurting myself! It has improved over time but, Avnii, I don't know how to explain this, but I feel like there is this constant noise in my head, as if, as if someone is screaming at the top of their lungs, but nobody listens. And, when I wake up from that nightmare, I find out that the voice is mine! And, nobody can listen! I, I just - his voice was just a breathless whisper now. I just don't know what to do! - he said as he looked into her eyes with helplessness & despair clearly visible in his eyes.