The Other McCall ▷ Stilinski

Chapter 45. Finally a proper make-out session

"What exactly am I supposed to say? Or, talk about?" I asked the guidance councelor, Miss Morell, with a sigh. After being held hostage at the Police Station, it was decided by my mom and school officials that seeing the councilor may help me get through this situation. Giving me someone to talk to that can decide if I'm handling everything properly. 

She turned her head to the side slightly, studying my facial expression and body posture, and offered me a small smile. "Whatever you want to talk about, Kasey. This is your session. Would you like to talk about Matt?" 

I chuckled bitterly, "Not really. No. I mean- the guy was obviously in some serious need of medication or something. You know, Mr. Stilinski told Stiles- who told me, that they found pictures of me on Matt's computer. And not just of super creepy stalker photo's, not he photoshopped us together doing things like holding hands and kissing. It was like he built this whole relationship between me and him up in his head, and it wasn't real."

"How does that make you feel about him? Do you feel repulsed by the fact he thought so highly of you?" She inquired as she once again smiled at me. 

My eyes narrowed in confusion, "I don't feel sorry for him- if that's what you mean. Sure, the kids that hurt him when he was younger deserved to be punished but that didn't give him the right to go killing them all. And the fact that he liked me, doesn't repulse me. It just... it was a bit weird."

She nodded slowly, "Some good things came out of this, though... Correct?"

"Yeah, I guess. Stiles' dad got his job back, which is really good for him. And-and Stiles and I are good, great actually... but that's about it. Everything else is just... it's a mess." I sighed as I glanced down at the floor. 

Miss Morell cocked her head to the side, "What do you mean by that?"

"My mom hasn't said a word to Scott or myself, since that night... ya know she keeps looking at me like-like I did something wrong, and-and I don't know what to say to her. Scott hasn't really talked to me either... he does, but he doesn't. If that makes any sense at all. I can tell that he doesn't want to talk to me- he's got so much other stuff going on, that I don't really seem to be in his mind anymore. Which is okay, I totally get that- he's- he has a lot to worry about right now. And Jackson just, he isn't really around much anymore. I don't know where he is or what he's doing. Allison doesn't talk to me either, her mother's death really hit her hard and she just doesn't talk to anyone. It's actually kind of funny, but Lydia seems to be the most normal one out of all of us now." I chuckled at the thought of Lydia being anything remotely similar to normal.

I nodded to myself, "So that's pretty much it. Why aren't you writing any of this down?"

"I like to write down my notes after my sessions," She assured me as she leaned back in her chair, studying me once again. 

I rose an eyebrow in question, "Your memory is that good?"

"I'd like to focus on you, Kasey. How are you feeling?" She quickly switched the main focus of the conversation back to me, and I don't know why it made me so nervous to have her ask me how I'm handling all of this. I think I'm doing okay, considering the circumstances, but I can't really dive into the whole supernatural layer of all of this with her, she wouldn't understand and it would just make me sound crazy.

I nodded once, "Me? I'm fine. Totally fine. Aside from the nightmares, the jumpiness, the constant overwhelming feeling that something like this is going to happen again, and I won't be able to help any of the people that I care about."

"It's called hyper-vigilance, the persistent feeling of being under threat." She explained as he made eye contact with me. 

I laughed lightly, "It's not just a feeling... it's like- like I'm back to sitting in that car, or being locked in that room... helpless, not being able to do anything, and all of a sudden I can't breathe anymore- and the only thing I can do is sit there and panic."