Trust Me (An Islamic Love Story)

Chapter 41

I don't know about Azar much, but one thing I know for sure is that he is as stubborn as I am. Last night, at least, he admitted he was doing this to stop my nightmares. I have always been an insomniac. I am used to not sleeping. I am used to having nightmares, whether I am asleep or awake. Azar cannot simply stop sleeping and eating well because of me. It seems somewhat unfair. In fact, I feel heavily responsible for his ill health.

So the next morning, I ask Mama about Azar's favorite breakfast food and prepare all dishes she tells me. I quickly stop Azar before he leaves for the office and force him to eat. He can't refuse even if he wants to because Mama insists too much.

I feel a little less guilty and a little satisfied when he finishes, and then I wish Azar luck for an important meeting he has today.

After he leaves for the office, I head to Baba's study and help him with his work. After a few hours, we take a break. "Abeer, you are too good at technical work. Why don't you apply for a job? Or is it you aren't interested in working?" he enquires.

"Oh no, I would really like to work, but..." I pause. "I just think I won't be able to handle the stress and manage work and home."

"Oh, come on, Abeer, you are the one who arranged the mess I made in this study," he says with an encouraging and affectionate smile. "I have noticed you underestimate yourself a lot. Don't limit yourself because of fear of failure. You can't know your capabilities unless you explore them. Try to work once. If you feel too stressed about it, you can always resign."

"I will think about it."

"Good," Baba says with satisfaction. "But don't be a workaholic like Azar, okay? He is pushing himself too hard because of his fear of failure. He thinks if he stops to take a breath, he will fall behind. Look at him, so thin he has grown."

"Don't worry, Baba, I made him have breakfast today," I tell him.

"Thank God. Kids these just don't know how to maintain balance. They just know how to be extreme, no offense," he adds to me.

After having a cup of tea, we go back to work. Azar returns from the office an hour after dinner. When I head inside our room, I see he is looking through some files on his study table.

"Azar, come, have dinner," I call him.

"No, I am not hungry," he replies back.

"Okay, then I'm not hungry either," I say and am about to leave, but stop when Azar asks, "What do you mean you aren't hungry either? Didn't you have dinner?"

"No, I didn't."

He rolls his eyes. "Don't tell me you didn't eat because of me," he says in a tired voice, but I see a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Okay, okay, I am coming."

After having a quiet dinner and praying Isha, I take one sleeping pill and lie down. I wish I could sleep without pills, but my experiment to sleep without taking them over the past days was a complete disaster. The reason I had stopped taking them was the side effects, which mainly included more nightmares, but I have to do this... for Azar.

I close my eyes, and soon I drift into a deep sleep.

"I did as you said, mother," I hear Raheesh say. I don't dare open my eyes.

"Well done, my son, I am very proud of you," I hear a croaky, old woman's voice. "I suppose only the face is left."

"Don't worry, tonight I will finish my mission," he replies and laughs. "This is the most fun I have had in ages, mother. I can never forget her, and she can certainly never forget me," he says, caressing my cheek, and I try my best to not shudder.