Trust Me (An Islamic Love Story)

Chapter 4 (part 2)

"What are you doing here?" I feel extremely uncomfortable because of the closed door. I glance at the window as a reflex to find exit strategies whenever I feel trapped.

"Were you expecting someone else?" Azar interprets it as something else, walking behind the teacher's desk.

I ignore his remark and move towards the door, but he reaches there first.

I keep reminding myself that it is Azar and try my best to not have another attack. "Why are you doing this?" I reach the door for the doorknob, but he does too, and my hand accidentally, in the hassle of pulling back, hits his watch. "You wouldn't want to know."

Heat creeps up my neck as I realize staring at his tie, that we are standing a little closer than I would like. "Try me," I say. I clear my throat and move as far away as I can from him. "I mean I do want to know the reason why you are following me." I pace behind the class tables, the closed door stuck in my head.

"I want answers," he says simply, tilting his head, not exactly what I thought he was implying.

"I'm not answerable to you," I object more confidently than I feel.

"Why can't you just talk to me?" He raises his voice unexpectedly. "Is it so hard? Just answer me and get it over with."

I blink hard, shaken by the loudness, trying to keep sane as long as I can. "On two conditions..." I barely say.

After a short moment of silence, Azar asks me rather calmly, "What conditions?" He fails miserably in hiding his curiosity.

"Can you please keep your distance from me?" I say a little too quickly as I place myself where there are several tables between us.

Azar chuckles in amusement. "Why are you so... shy?"

Oh Allah, what is wrong with him? I feel more annoyed than scared. This is all because of this stupid school and no proper rules.

"Stop flattering yourself, no one will ever want to look at you. You don't need to wear hijab to keep away men; you will do fine without it too."

I remember his words, and it makes my blood boil. He is clearly flirting despite those harsh words he had said. "It is not about shyness," I assert with composure.

"Your face says otherwise," he points out, and I just feel like hiding away in a box. Instead, I resort back to my pacing because that is the only way I feel in control.

"What's the second condition?" He asks.

"Leave the door open," I say, feeling angry at how small my voice sounds. For a few seconds, Azar just stares at me while I pace. Then without a word, he opens the door and moves back to his spot behind the teacher's desk.

I halt for a moment, and my eyes linger at the exit, but instead of an empty hall, I see him, leering as he plays with his knife. I can tell Azar's eyes are on me, trying to decipher me.

"Go ahead." I look away from the door. "What do you want to say?" I feel exhausted already, but I don't stop pacing.

"You will pay back for lying to me and Mishal." I am uneasy by his change to an accusatory tone. "How dare you manipulate Islam? I dare you to show the world who you truly are."

His choice of words shakes me because I have spent my life hiding from the horrors of the truth. Yet his accusation of acting religious angers me. "How can you say that when you yourself...?" I trail off because unlike him, I don't want to accuse him without knowing. And besides, one sin cannot define a person.

"I, what?" he demands moving closer to my table.

"Leave me alone," I repeat, moving to another spot. I feel suffocated, slipping in and out of consciousness. Abeer... till when will you hide?