Trust Me (An Islamic Love Story)

Chapter 54

I quickly pay the cab driver and head toward the apartment. However, my steps falter when I notice the door open.

Oh my God.

No.

A thousand scenarios cross my mind.

Why is it open? The voice inside my head nags me. What if.... what if something bad happened to Azar? What if Raheesh took him?

I can't breathe.

Abeer, you need to help him.

No, I can't breathe.

You can't bear the responsibility for someone else's death yet again.

Go before it is too late.

I break through the paralyzing thoughts and make a dash toward the house. I halt upon seeing Azar, who is tottering towards the door, his eyes wide open and bloodshot. The USB is on the floor just in front of him, and before I can stop him, he unknowingly steps on it, and it breaks. I ignore the world that comes crashing down on me and instead rush towards Azar. My eyes search him as I ask, "Oh my God. Why is the door open? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

I hold his arms so that he stays stable, and I realize that he is drowsy. I am horrified, and after a few moments of confusion, my anger replaces my shock and worry. "Azar, are you out of your mind?" I demand. "Are you this weak? Where did you even get it from in this city?"

"I didn't drink..." He manages out of my grip. "Why are you back? Didn't you hurt me enough? Why are you here then?" His voice slurs slightly at the end.

"Just sit down," I appease, not willing to have this conversation with a wasted Azar.

Instead, he staggers towards me as he asks, "Why should I listen to you, angel?"

"Azar, stay away." I step back. "You are crossing the limits," I warn him.

"Why should I not cross?" My back hits the wall, and my heart drops. "Didn't you cross limits, angel? Why does your Islam only apply to me and not to your other lovers?"

"Please, Azar," I plea. Tears are threatening to leave my eyes. "Just stop. I can't bear it anymore. You have no idea what you are doing. You have no control over yourself. Please just don't."

"There is no one here, angel, just you and me and endless pain. You should have a taste of your own medicine." I try to push him away, but he pins my hand to the wall. "And besides, why would I do as you say, angel, after all your lies, why in the world would I listen to you?"

"If you ever cared about me, Azar, just a single bit, you would not harm me." I feel as if he is suffocating me.

"I don't care, Abeer, I just don't care."

His eyes begin to droop, and a second later, he keels over towards me with his head resting on my shoulder.

"Azar...?" I manage to say. When he doesn't respond, I realize he has fallen unconscious. I am overwhelmed as I repeatedly think Alhamdulillah. With great effort, I lift his head off my shoulder and wrap his arm around it to help him walk toward the couch.

I make him lie down and let out a shaky breath.

I lock the main door, and my eyes land on the broken pieces of the broken USB on the carpet. I kneel down and stare at pieces, thinking of how no matter what I do, everything breaks.

A moment later, I am sobbing uncontrollably, my arms locked around my knees tightly. My last hope is shattered into pieces. How can I collect myself, oh Allah? I don't know how to bring together my ruins. My past is out there to burn me and my present... my present is burning me in an endless fire of hatred. How can I expect anything, but ashes from the future?