N.E Heartbreak

Chapter 22

Chapter 22
Cassandra

1995

It's weird going from being a parent of babies to being a parent of toddlers and little kids. But also having to do some type of performing or promo or recording everyday on top of watching three kids. I'm ready to pull my hair out.

"Relax," Ralph massages my shoulders as we lay in bed together. "You're tense. You were very tense a few minutes ago. Didn't seem like you enjoyed it."

"I did, Rizzy," I turn to him. "I always do."

"Really? You made me feel like I wasn't giving it to you good enough." He teases with a smirk.

I hit his chest softly. "Shut up," I kiss his bare chest before laying my head on it. "It's hard adjusting, you know? To all of this. The last I remember of my babies are just that— they were babies. Now they're little kids and walking and running all over the place. It scares me. In two years—"

"No," he cuts me off. "We're not talking about it."

"We have to though. Because if I disappear or die or whatever in 1997 I need to know that you and the kids are going to be okay. The guys and Brooke too." I say.

"Have you thought about if you just go back to 2017? As an 18 year old?" He asks softly, his arms tightening around me.

"I have but you know Steph. She doesn't want to hear that." I nod in his chest.

"And what if your mom's cousins or whoever come back in your place? Am I just supposed to forget my Cee Cee? The girl I've loved all my life and married? And pretend to love the fake one? This may all be a second life or whatever or fake but this," he hugs me tighter. "This I know is real. My love for you is so real it hurts."

"What if they don't take our place in 1997? What if we just appear back in our 18-year-old bodies in 2017? What will you do?" I ask.

"I'll find you and—"

"And what? Marry me? You'll be 50. That won't look good in anyone's eyes. I'll be thought of as a gold digger. My own kids would be older than me at that point. They'll be 27, 26, and 25," I say. "And you couldn't marry me anyway. I would be related to you because my mom and aunts are my cousins, now making them your cousins by marriage. You would be marrying your 18 year old cousin-in-law."

"God. Why do you make things so complicated?" Ralph rolls onto his back with a sigh. I sit up and look at him.

"I love you." I tell him and he looks at me.

"I love you, too." He gives half a smile.

"Sing to me." I lay my head back on his chest.

"What do you want to hear?" He asks.

"Anything." I say and he pauses as he thinks of what to sing.

"When I first heard this song I thought about when I first realized that I liked you when we were kids," he smiles before he starts singing. "I started to write you letters, but I wanted to be more clever. I wanted to get down and sweet talk you. But just like a baby I could not talk. And I tried to come closer but could not walk. And I think of it every night. How I just could not get it right. Oh if we ever come close again, I know what I'll say then."

"Can we talk for a minute? Girl, I want to know your name. Can we talk for a minute? Girl, I want to know your name." I sing with him and he laughs.

"You know, it was really hard when we got older. Keeping myself in check. It's like you'd leave to go back to New Orleans and my feelings would subside and I'd be all about Zena. Then you'd come back for the summer and every feeling would rush back with you," he sighs as he strokes my hair. "Then Zena lost her mom and all of that craziness. I knew it was time to drop her. I couldn't love two people at once. And for the longest I did but I had to chose who would better my life."