My Therian Journal

03-06-2019

Since this is my first entry, I'm going to talk a bit about the last couple weeks :)

Why have they been important? Because I started awakening!

I covered this stuff in my Introduction so here's a small recap;

1. I started researching to become more open minded about Therians or Otherkin
2. I quickly shed my close mindedness and found myself interested!
3. Memories resurfaced from childhood of canine-like habits.
4. Instincts started to come out, they were mostly all things I used to do as a kid that I suppressed thinking they were "weird habits", that now feel well... right!
5. I started experiencing minor mental and phantom shifts!
6. I found myself connecting these shifts and instincts to some dreams I had a few months back

I'm mostly going to talk about my shifts and the dreams today, and how they led to me figuring Alaskan Grey Wolf :)

Shifts
The first shifts I got were minor mental shifts, where I'd find myself embracing instincts more and feeling significantly detached from and confused by humans around me. I started thinking even more than normal (I already do this a lot, as someone with an affinity for nature) about all the time I wish I could be spending outside and all the time I'm GOING to spend outside as soon as it starts to warm up enough.

Then came the phantom shifts :o so far I've experienced a tail and canines! The tail came first, and it was very faint, it was never anything more than simply... present. It was just a heavy feeling on my tailbone. But yesterday I had the coolest experience! My tail became so much more "real"!

1. It was moving! Instead of just feeling its presence superimposed on my tailbone I could actually feel it swinging as I moved and it sometimes it would twitch or rub against my leg and I could ALMOST feel it. It was a weird, wispy sort of feeling.
2. It was responsive to outside stimuli! When I got close to a wall I could feel it go between my legs, or when someone walked behind me I could sort of feel them "push it" aside if that makes sense(?)
3. I could feel when it was uncomfortable, I sat down in bed for a bit, and I was well aware that i was sitting on it, but i had done this before. I didn't expect that it would get very uncomfortable VERY quickly!
4. It responded to my emotions :o at least well, to the one emotion I felt during the time. I had a good night and when I felt happy it would wag! It was such a happy feeling and I almost found myself swaying with it.

Yesterday was also the first time I experienced canines! Its was like one second they weren't there and the next they were DEFINITELY there. They were so present that if I focused on them I could make our where they were when I ran my tongue over them.

The dreams? 
So essentially, I had a random spurt of dreams around summer 2k18. These were always in first person (which is already rare for me) but at the same time it was like there was a second consciousness watching overhead and I could see myself. Basically I was a wolf (medium grey and white w/ medium length fur, quite large stature) in a snowy place where I was a sled dog (specifically for sleds with supplies like lumber) and occassionally a hunting dog for a Native American tribe. Over the course of the dreams I was able to narrow the group down to the Inuit, and researched that the dog breed would've been an Alaskan Malamute. I think my dream took place earlier though, because I feel much more feral and myself and the other wolves in the dream didn't look much like them.

I researched the origin species of Alaskan Malamutes and what did I get? The Alaskan Grey Wolf :) they looked they they walked straight out of my dream and into pictures.