My Therian Journal

A little self-inquiry

So I know the dreams I had were past life memories, I've been sure of that since I had them the first time. Since then I've retrieved more memories from my lifetime as a timber wolf than any other lifetime, and they are some of the happiest memories I have.

I also know that my instincts are very canine, the tail I feel is canine, along with the teeth and my muzzle and I've felt a quite dense pelt of fur before. My m-shifts feel very canine as well, heightening my instincts to growl, play, chew, run, etc.

But I'm no longer sure that these things are directly related. I've mentioned before that the noises I want to make while m-shifted didn't seem to be very wolf-like, howling didn't come instinctually and if it did it wasn't wolf-like. I've discussed that confusion with Fluke a couple times, but since I never got to actually hear the noises I felt like making I had little to go off of.

Butttt I was home alone, and decided I'd curl up in bed, make a den with my blankets and watch some videos on Therianthropy. My one dog is quite hyper and at one point he jumped up to run at me and start licking my face. Instinctively, I lightly tackled him onto his back and made a... noise. It certainly wasn't that of a wolf. It was high pitched and and sounded almost like a meow mixed with a whine- if that makes sense.

I thought about it briefly, but my dog was having too much fun and wanted to keep playing so of course, we did ^-^ I became very shifted quite fast and found that I kept making these noises or at least variations of them. Some seemed sort of cackle-like and others seemed like very um- innocent growls. High, brief and scratchy.

(I've made these noises in the past, actually a couple months ago my cat and I were in bed and she got playful and pounced at my hand, knocking my phone onto the bed and nibbling my finger, I laughed and almost instantaneously started playing with her as well, making these noises, although I didn't think anything of them.)

So what about the memories then? Why would I remember so much from a past life if it may not be my theriotype at all. Well, I'm a very spiritual person, and even before that I still believed in reincarnation. This isn't the only past life I have memories from at all, I remember many human lives and glimpses from ones where frankly I have no clue what I was, but I always found that those lives that filled me with joy upon remembering them were ones that I subconsciously worked towards remembering more of. (The subconscious mind is very strong, remember, it is said that humans on average function with only 5% of our brains when we are conscious.)

For example:
If I was going to bed one night, and I'm planning on recalling past life memories, I'd often put on a lucid dreaming playlist (they work best for me even in meditation). And when I'd settle down I'd set my intentions, something along the lines of "Tonight when I lose consciousness in the physical world and gain consciousness to the higher world of the subconscious, I *will* remember those memories I've lost." ("I" referring to my transcendental self- the soul). But intentions are just that, your intent. You can very easily intend more than you SAY or even mean to intend. So with glimpses of multiple past lives (some human ones where situations were unfavorable, or mystery ones I felt no connection to yet because I hadn't explored them further) where one or two had been very happy, well-lived lives (my life as a timber wolf, or one human life I remember as a young girl), my subconscious most likely added the intent to remember the memories from *insert life*, so that I could experience the happiness and develop understanding of a life that brought joy.

(I hope that made sense)

My life as a timber wolf was so full of joy! I was treated very well and the exchange between the dogs and the tribe was always equal and agreed upon. It was a peaceful, routine life filled with love and abundance. So naturally, I would subconsciously seek out more memories to fill me with those feelings.

And I'm not saying that I'm not a timber wolf! I could be, but I've also been debating a couple other canines.

These include foxes (there are so many!) And smaller breeds of wild dogs, I might even look into hyenas, even if it's just for reference. (That's another thing, when ph-shifted I don't typically feel very large, maybe medium at best.)

Sorry for how long this is! I hope I didn't bore you too much, I just wanted to get my thoughts down! :) thanks for reading.

-C.g