the silence

sixteen.

    the two of them laid in silence for a little bit after eddy had told brett no. the taller boy was relieved that brett hadn't pushed any further. he kissed the side of brett's head.

    "do you need a shower?" eddy asked, biting his lip. he knew that brett had had a bath, but he wasn't so sure that sober brett would be satisfied with how clean he was when he woke up. he also knew damn well that brett wouldn't be able to clean himself and that he was going to have to do it. but, somehow, he didn't mind. but brett was asleep before he could answer.

eddy wanted nothing more than to stay with brett and go to sleep, but he decided he couldn't do that just yet.

    he went to brett's bathroom, turning the water on. he looked around the small room as he waited for it to warm up, his eyes landing on the medicine cabinet. curious, he opened it.

    brett had more medication in that one cabinet than eddy had ever seen in his life. some of the bottles looked very old and were nearly empty, but most of them had crisp, bright labels. they were relatively new. brett's name was printed neatly on every one of them, along with the directions for intake. after a quick google search, eddy discovered that nearly every one of them were for anxiety or depression.

    next to brett's medications laid two razor blades and a small pile of envelopes with different names written across them in perfect handwriting. eddy picked them up carefully and looked through them. he had no intention to open them; he just wanted to read the names. most of them he didn't recognize, but he found jamie's and stared at it. it was thicker than the rest of them.

    as the realization of what these envelopes were clicked in eddy's head, he sat down in the floor and put his hand to his mouth. they were letters. tears stung his eyes as he remembered what jamie had told him about brett's near suicide attempt. he shook his head and wiped his cheeks.

    breathing deeply to keep from tearing up, eddy turned the water off. he was never going to be able to shower now. his legs felt weak and and his arms were shaky. he made his way back to brett's bedroom and crawled in next to him, pulling the smaller man into his arms. brett stirred slightly and pressed his face against eddy's neck, slinging his leg over his waist. eddy wiped his eyes again and kissed brett's forehead.

    it was true that brett had saved eddy from a world of turmoil and unhappiness. but what eddy hadn't known was that the boy in his arms had needed him more than either of them thought. it was no coincidence that they'd found each other or that things had escalated so quickly. it was almost like fate had sat them next to each other.

    eddy held brett as close as possible and breathed in his scent: faint hints of coffee and strawberry shampoo. it calmed him down and helped him to relax as he rubbed brett's back, tracing random geometric patterns on his soft skin. holding him was like holding everything good in the world right in between your arms. eddy never wanted to let go.

    as eddy drifted off into a deep sleep, all of his worries slowly slipped away. there was no mae, his face was not bruised, there were no blades or envelopes in brett's cabinet, and his bow had not been destroyed. in his head, there was only brett. the thought of the strikingly gorgeous boy in his arms caused a smile to tug at his lips as he fell asleep, his breaths synchronizing with brett's.

—

    needless to say, brett did not have a pleasant morning, or, rather, afternoon. he woke up long after eddy, who had been patiently playing on his phone and waiting for him to stir. his head pounded and he groaned loudly as the light hit his eyes. eddy rubbed the smaller man's temples, kissing his forehead gently.