the silence

thirty.

    when eddy woke, brett was not in the bed. panic immediately filled eddy's brain and he scrambled to his feet to go search for him. the taller boy immediately assumed the worst and his heart was nearly pounding out of his chest as he walked into the living room, peering around the room.

    the water in the shower was running. eddy stared fearfully at the bathroom door, biting his lip. he really hoped showering was all brett was doing. he knocked on the door.

    "brett?"

    "yeah," the reply was short and simple, but it made eddy feel so much better.

    a few moments later, brett opened the bathroom door and steam billowed from every opening it could, filling the living room with a strange haze. eddy winced and waved the steam away with his hands. there was no way a shower that hot didn't hurt, and brett's skin showed it. his arms and face were red and his eyes were no different.

    "hey," eddy said softly, "you okay?"

    the smaller boy shook his head and wrapped his arms around eddy's waist, hugging him softly and closing his eyes. the list of comforting words eddy could try went on and on in his head, but none of them seemed right and brett was welcoming of the silence, anyways. the two of them swayed back and forth, eddy's large hands sliding under brett's shirt to rub his soft skin.

    "i'm sorry i left you," brett said finally. "it was probably the stupidest thing i've ever done." his voice was quiet and weak.

    "it's okay, my love. you thought it was a good idea at the time," eddy offered.

    "no, i didn't," brett laughed bitterly.

    "i love you," eddy said into the other boy's ear, kissing his cheek. "it's okay."

    "i love you, too."

    silence enveloped the room once again. eddy hadn't been too great at filling that strange void whenever brett hadn't just lost two of his favorite people, so it's needless to say that he wasn't much good at it now. he decided to try to comfort brett with touch instead, covering his face with soft kisses and using his large hands to rub the other boy's back and shoulders. brett didn't admit it, but it helped.

    it wasn't long before brett wanted to go back to sleep. being awake allowed for him to be reminded that jamie was gone and there was no way for brett to call him to talk about it. the smaller boy said nothing to signal his desire, but he pulled away from eddy and grabbed his hand to drag him towards the bedroom.

    "you need to eat something, baby," eddy frowned. brett nearly scoffed and shook his head, laying down on the bed and patting the space next to him.

    it was not up to eddy to tell brett how to grieve, or he would've said that it wasn't good for him to sleep all day and he definitely needed to eat. obviously, eddy wouldn't let brett starve himself, but now wasn't the time to beg and plead with him to eat when he knew it was useless. he climbed into bed next to the smaller boy and hugged him from behind, pressing his lips to the skin on his neck and sighing.

    "eddy?" brett whispered, rolling over. eddy could hear that he was about to break down again and prepared himself to help him through it.

    "yes?"

    "he's not coming back, is he?"

    "no, baby," eddy whispered. the answer to the question was not one the taller boy liked to give, but lying in that scenario would be stupid. brett was crying again before both of the words escaped eddy's lips and he gripped tightly onto his shirt, shaking his head.