the silence

twenty.

eddy found himself in a strange state of mind as he climbed back in his car. there was an emptiness in his heart and he sighed heavily. he'd only known brett for days; why was it so hard to be without him? his hands felt cold without the other violinist's fingers laced inbetween his and his arms ached to wrap around brett's waist.

   the way they felt about each other was absolutely insane. neither of them had ever experienced anything like it, but they weren't complaining.

   meanwhile, brett was freaking out. he had already called jamie four times and was getting no answer, which never happened. he paced around his apartment and chewed on his already short nails. it was unexplainable why he was so upset, but he just was. he didn't want to explore the possibility of it being because of eddy's absence because that meant admitting his attachment in a way that he wasn't ready to admit it yet. he dialed jamie's number again.

"baby! i'm so sorry, love, my phone's been in the car. what is it? do i need to come over?" jamie's loud voice vibrated against brett's eardrum after the third ring and he sighed with relief.

"i don't know. i can't breathe," brett gasped, leaning against the wall. the walls seemed to be closing in on him and his heart was beating faster by the second.

"did something happen? where's eddy?"

"he had to go home," he shook his head. jamie clicked his tongue.

"why didn't you go with him?"

"he's got some private stuff to do.. i told him i loved him, jamie."

jamie choked on his drink.

"you did? what did he say? when?"

"please stop asking so many questions," brett whined, tugging at his own hair. jamie took a deep breath.

"do you want me to come over or do you want me to call eddy and tell him you need him to come over?"

brett sighed.

"i don't know. what if he gets mad?"

"baby, that boy doesn't have an angry bone in his body. he'd do anything for you."

"i really don't know, jamie.. he's only been gone for half an hour. he's probably busy with the things he had to go home for. i really don't want to bother him..." brett sighed, using his nails to make angry red semicircles on his palm. jamie bit his lip.

"i know, bretty. are you okay?"

"no."

the line was silent. the only sounds that could be heard were jamie's breathing and the clicking of brett's teeth against his nails as he bit down on them.

"have you showered today?" jamie asked. he knew that brett tended to get moody if he hadn't showered.

"yeah, this morning. i think i should stay away from the bathroom right now."

"do you still have that shit in your cabinet?"

the silence returned, but was soon broken by a long sigh from jamie's end.

"you need to get some sleep."

"yeah."

   "are you gonna go to sleep if we hang up?"

   "i can try."

"alright. i love you, sunshine. i'll see you soon, okay?"

"i love you."

they hung up and brett continued pacing, digging his nails into his hands harder than before. he wanted eddy. he desperately needed to crawl into the taller man's arms and inhale his scent, which had become almost too much of a comfort over the past few days.