the silence

twenty-four.

once brett sat down in that chair next to jamie's bed, eddy had a hard time getting him to get out of it. he stayed stationary with his hand on his best friend's and kept his mouth shut. talking just wasn't something he found appealing or important at that moment. all he wanted was for jamie to wake up and anything that didn't progress towards that didn't interest him.

however, they were not allowed to stay the night. eddy dreaded 9 p.m.'s arrival; the last thing he wanted to do was make brett leave. they'd been sitting in a strange silence for hours and eddy was almost uncomfortable. he was no longer used to brett being unchangeably silent and he missed the smaller man's voice, but he was not about to press him to speak. he knew better.

time ticked on and eddy was starving, but he knew brett was not going to eat. it was 4 p.m. before eddy mentioned it.

"bretty," he said softly, putting his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder.

"hm," brett muttered, not looking away from jamie's heart monitor. he'd been watching it for hours.

"are you hungry?"

"no."

eddy sighed. he knew damn well that that was a lie, but he had no idea how to go about it. if jamie was awake, he would've asked him.

the removal of jamie from brett's life had affected eddy in the strangest way. he didn't realize how much he depended on jamie to help him with brett's strange moods and unpredictable behavior patterns. was it normal to rely on your boyfriend's best friend for something like that? no. but it wasn't an option for eddy. jamie knew brett better than anyone and eddy had gotten into the habit of consulting him whenever the smaller boy did something that eddy had no idea how to deal with just to avoid upsetting him. jamie loved it and brett appreciated it immensely. the fact that his two favorite people were constantly conspiring to keep him happy made his heart feel fuller than ever.

"i'm going to go get us something to eat," eddy said decisively. "do you want to come with me?"

"no."

the simple reply shouldn't have hurt eddy's feelings, and he knew that. but it did. he reminded himself of brett's situation and took a deep breath.

"are you going to be okay here by yourself? it might be a minute because i know you don't want hospital food."

brett turned to face eddy and stood up, walking over to his boyfriend and snaking his small arms around his waist. the taller boy sighed with a mix of sadness and relief, hugging him back and stroking his hair gently.

"i'm sorry," brett mumbled. eddy frowned slightly and pulled away, cupping the other boy's face in his hands. a small smile tugged at brett's lips as eddy kissed them gently.

    "you haven't done anything wrong. but you do need to eat, okay? please. he'd want you to take care of yourself and i do, too," eddy said. brett sniffled and nodded, wiping his teary eyes and inhaling shakily.

    "are you sure you don't want to come with me?" asked the taller man, rubbing brett's back absentmindedly. touching him was like instinct now and it was hard for them to keep their hands off of each other.

    "yeah. i don't want to leave him," the older boy sighed. eddy nodded.

    "okay. i'll be back soon, alright? call me if you need anything," he told his boyfriend, pulling him in for what he meant to be a quick hug. but brett didn't let go.

    "eddy?" he mumbled.

    "yes?"

    "i'm so glad i have you."

    the taller boy's cheeks reddened severely and a smile spread across his face.

    "i'm glad that you're glad, baby."

    they hugged for a few moments more before brett pulled away and stood on his toes to kiss eddy, his arms around his neck. they broke apart and eddy walked out the door.

;

   it only took 24 minutes for brett to get nervous. he paced around the room, glancing at jamie ever so often and wishing that he was awake to make him feel better. eddy had said he'd be back soon. but what did soon mean? it was one of those words with no precise definition, its interpretation completely up in the air.

    to brett, soon meant less than 15 minutes. he didn't know what eddy's idea of soon was because he hadn't thought to ask. chewing his nails, he debated on whether or not he should call eddy to make sure he was okay. the only problem with that was that eddy might be driving and the last thing brett wanted was to distract him from the road.

    20 more minutes passed. brett's heart was pounding and he had to leave the room to get some water, looking around for any sign of eddy when he did. he hoped to god that eddy's terrible driving hadn't finally gotten the best of him. thankfully, no ambulances were in the emergency room entrance and the hospital was relatively quiet. he returned back to jamie's room feeling no better than he had before.

brett decided to call eddy. it had been nearly an hour and there was no way it took him that long to go grab food. his hands shook as he held the phone to his ear, listening to the repeated ringing sounds.

"come on, eddy," he muttered under his breath. but the taller boy did not answer.

right as soon as his voicemail picked up, the door to jamie's room opened. an exasperated looking eddy walked in, a bag in his hand.

"brett, i'm so—"

the smaller boy cut him off with a kiss on the lips and a tight hug.

    "you fucking scared me," brett breathed, pressing his head to eddy's chest and closing his eyes. eddy hugged him back and kissed the top of his head.

    "well," he began, "first they got our order wrong, like, three times. and then traffic was crazy and i actually went the speed limit because i wanted to make sure i made it back to you. i was going to text you, but i really didn't want to text and drive either and i left my fucking phone in the car. i'm so sorry, baby. i didn't mean to do that to you."

    the sincerity of eddy's apology brought tears to brett's eyes. he still wasn't used to being cared for so deeply and gently, and the thought of it just made him cry. he sniffled quietly and leaned into eddy's soft touch, the taller boy's hands running over brett's hair repeatedly

    "i thought you weren't coming back," he said quietly. eddy shook his head.

    "i would never not come back to you."

    tears stung brett's eyes again and he laughed at his own sensitivity. eddy raised an eyebrow at him and tried to pull away slightly, but brett resisted.

    "what are you laughing at?" he asked in amusement.

    "i'm such a baby," he giggled, shaking his head. the sound of his laugh made eddy's heart feel light again, contradicting the heaviness that had been hanging over him for days. he picked brett up by and smiled when he felt the smaller boy's legs wrap around his waist.

    "i love you," brett said quietly. eddy's grin widened and he closed his eyes, planting a soft kiss on brett's neck. seeing him in a better mood made eddy's day.

    "i love you," eddy said back. neither of them cared about the earliness of the uttering of those fateful three words. they meant them. they had just pulled away from their hug when they heard a voice they hadn't heard in days.

"brett?"