the silence

nineteen.

    neither of the violinists in brett's warm bed were prepared when their alarms went off. brett turned his off and groaned, rolling out of eddy's grip into a sitting position. the emptiness in between the taller boy's arms made him frown and he sat up as well.

   "brett?" he mumbled sleepily.

   "hm."

   "kiss me before you go."

    brett blushed and turned to eddy, looking at his face. sleepiness was evident in his half open eyes that closed quickly when brett leaned in for a kiss, hands running through the taller boy's hair. eddy groaned and put his arms around brett's shoulders when he pulled away from the kiss.

   "the bed feels so empty without you in it," he muttered, dragging his lips across brett's neck and sending goosebumps all down his body.

   "work, eddy," brett mumbled, but it was more for himself than for eddy. it was so tempting to just crawl back into those strong arms and go to sleep.

   "okay, okay. go shower, i'll be right here," eddy sighed, laying back down in the bed.

   "you should probably shower, too," brett pointed out, biting his lip.

   "i'll go after. if we go in there together, we're not going to get much showering done."

   brett giggled. eddy was exactly right. he went to the bathroom and was unable to stop smiling as he got undressed.

   his smile faded when he looked at his medicine cabinet. he ended up staring at it every time he went to the bathroom, his eyes repeatedly falling on every single prescription bottle. there were just so many of them. it stressed him out.

   however, looking at his medication reminded him that he had to take it. every day, like clockwork, or things were going to go horribly wrong. he poured the correct combination of pills into his shaky hand and swallowed them. he almost felt better.

   the memory of the fact that he'd told eddy he loved him hit brett like a bus as he climbed into the shower. he stood under the water and tapped his foot impatiently, holding back tears. he felt so stupid. so fucking stupid. what had he done? he'd fucked up, hadn't he? he'd ruined everything, right?

   brett spent the entirety of his shower trying to stop crying. he knew that eddy would be able to tell something was wrong immediately and really didn't feel like dealing with it. he also didn't want the other boy to know he was upset because that was embarrassing and he'd probably want to know why.

   whenever brett got out of the shower and got dressed, eddy was still asleep. his hair covered his eyes and his mouth was half open, soft snores coming out of him every few minutes. brett took a deep breath and sat next to him. it was very obvious that he'd been crying despite his desperate attempts to cover it up, so he just had to hope that eddy wouldn't notice.

   "eddy, hey," he sniffled, shaking the taller boy's shoulder. "you gotta get up."

   "mmm," eddy replied groggily, sitting up. a frown formed on his face as soon as he opened his eyes and saw brett's puffy cheeks.

   "hey, what's the matter?" he asked, voice deep and full of concern. brett shook his head and tried not to cry again.

   "nothing. go get in the shower," he lied, cheeks reddening as his voice broke on the last word. eddy frowned again and wrapped his arms around his lover's shoulders, kissing his forehead.

   "you can talk to me."

brett couldn't stop crying. what he was crying over was stupid and he knew it, but that just made him cry harder. he buried his face in eddy's neck and tried to calm down, but sobs continued to shake his small frame. eddy pressed his nose into brett's wet hair and rubbed his back. he couldn't stand to see him upset like that and would do whatever it took to fix it.