DESTINED FOR A DEVIL

CHAP-19 BEAST

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu lovelies...

I request my precious readers to pray their salah if they haven't prayed yet before reading this chappy...

Let's go;)

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Amaan's pov :

It was the longest 8 hour flight of my life because I was uneasy! I was stuck in the iron chambers! every second felt heavy on my shoulders not knowing how my angel is doing?

Wait.. what ?? My angel ?

When did that happened? I asked myself silently...

Zamy was also tensed beside me, its rare seeing him this worried because he's always the joly and I-don't-give-a-damn kinda attitude person with his witty comments, sassy remarks he appears to be the most jovial person and easy going but deep Inside he's just same as me!..

Both broken and hurt beyond imagination! carrying never ending guilt on our shoulder, mostly me! because I couldn't save her! my life! He usually seems to be the most expressive person, I hide my pain and sufferings behind my stone cold face and he hid his behind his bright smile ...

After that incident, I detached myself from him! I built thick iron walls around myself that no one will get pass through it! but she did it already!

I pushed him away from me, I wasn't able to look into his eyes, guilt ate me out everytime I see those orbs or mine in mirror! the most worst torture and punishment is carrying the never ending guilt on your shoulder till death releases you from it...

I forget the last time I had slept peacefully except one day! when I slept in Aina's embrace for the very first time i slept well without any thoughts or problems running in my mind! It was the best sleep I had in years like after 12 years!...

I acted selfish towards zamy because when he needed me the most! I pushed him away but he never stopped showing me his affection, he never stopped loving me, despite what I did ? he didn't hate me, I always wanted him to be away from me but he always did the exact opposite! he was and is always surrounding me, all the time annoying me to hell because that idiot knows how much cold or rude I behave but he knows I love him! he's my brother, my reason to live! my reason to hold on to my life in this cruel world! he knows just because I don't show any emotions it doesn't mean I didn't love him...

He and Zaim was the only ones, who put up with my sh*ts and my bad temper and insults! they never give up on me, they are the people who make my life a little easier to live. It takes a lot when I say lot means a lot of courage to fight your inner demons! who always reminds you of what you did and how incapable you were!...

Weak! pathetic! loser! Coward! Dumb! Fool!

The words kept ringing in my head like a broken tap recorder! whenever I tried to close my eyes, those ear piercing screams! the bloody figures! the bruises! the injuries! the cuts! the stabs! the whips! those images haunts me in my sleep...

I hardly sleeps four hours a day, which can be said its a miracle that I was getting at least that much, In the initial days it was worse! I couldn't sleep even a wink doctors have to drug me so that my brain could get some rest...

" Don't worry bro! My Bhabs will be fine! " the jovial zamy was back, I just nodded at him and leaned on my seat back, just two more hours I thought! then the most agonizing part, how I'm gonna face her? after the stunt I pulled before leaving here, I'm sure as hell she'll not be expecting how I'm going to behave with her from now onwards, If she thought that I was the most ruthless person ever she saw in her life then I'm sure she'll be surprised to know that it was just my 1% in 100, the rest is waiting for her to witness...