DESTINED FOR A DEVIL

CHAP-21 HOLDING ON

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu lovelies..

I request my precious readers to pray their salah if they haven't prayed yet before reading this chappy....

let's go..

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Aina's pov:

Life is not what we expect! it is unpredictable! when you think finally everything is falling in place but life throws a bouncer in your direction that your whole world turns 360° around and you're whole world's get crushed 100 times worse, then what it actually was...

It's the same scenario in my life, I don't know? whether to laugh or cry at my situation, I don't know what is happening to me or in my life anymore? Its like I'm lost somewhere, I'm not myself and I'm losing myself little by little, it doesn't seem faraway when one-day I'll not be able recognize myself...

I was always a confident person, I never had low self-esteem about myself, in fact I never thought that one-day will come when I'll doubt my self-esteem! I was never a girl with insecurities but since this devil entered my life, I began to question myself ? ..

When I thought we were progressing in our relationship but he had to ruin it, now we're back to square one! it's even worse now, I don't cry anymore because there's no more tears left in my system, heck! I agree I'm the cry baby but I think it's about time that I know even crying your heart out can't take your pain and suffering away..

I was in the stage of my life, where I think I was fed up with everything I think I was slowly falling into depression and now my anxiety attacks seems to be frequent! I don't know? the man I thought I was in love with him was the one to my ruin!...

Let me tell you how? It's been two hell of weeks since he returned from Italy or I can say when he yanked me off from him harshly without caring about my feelings, from then onwards there is an ere awkwardness between us, the tension between us is so thick that can be cut with a knife...

There is no interaction between us anymore! we don't even look at each others face, everytime I was in his Presence he never forgot to make me feel unwanted! unloved! he never forgot to make it clear that he hates my presence! he loathes me! his cold glares, his mean remarks, his taunting gaze!....

This man Made me feel like I was not worthy of his time nor his attention or love! and that's were it stungs I don't know what I did to earn such a cold rude and unwanted welcome from him, I don't even know why he's doing to this to me...

Whether he knows it or not but he's getting successful in breaking me bits by bits! why I gave him the power to break me? I was such a fool to fell in love with a person like him but what can I do, even after treating me like a piece of crap! I can't hate him! And for that I was hating myself more and more each Day...

In the past months, he saw how broken I was, since I lost my family, my twin! I never opened up to anyone except him but he didn't care! I don't know what made him change, I know from the start that he was a cold person but I also saw a loving person beneath his facade, I also witnessed a lost child who needs love behind his cold mask...

But Now I doubt that! if it's still there or it was also one of his fake charade! I have thousands of questions unanswered, when I try to talk to him to get to know about the answers to my questions, he changes the topic he manipulates me then began yelling and scolding at me, with no choice I had to return back to my room and cry myself to sleep....

I know everything happens for a reason! I know Allah has a plan for me but what he's making me go through is becoming unbearable now everyone has their breaking point and I think that my quota is getting filled, I'm nearly reaching my breaking point! I fear if I break this time I don't know I will ever be able to heal again..