His Hijabi Mate

Chapter Twelve (Part I)

 Heyy Lovlies I am back.. A lot has happened this past month with personal matters and mood swings I never even thought of writing all that time. I didn't have all the confidence and strength to do so.

My last year of uni is going to start soon 1st of September. EnshAllah all will be well.
So to make it up to you guys for this wait . I will be uploading two chapters today yayyyy
One in Amal's Pov and the other you will have to see when i update it after this one.
I really wanted to show you Amal's way of dealing with what had happened but I didn't want it to be too long so here you have it without wasting anymore time I present Chapter Twelve 
Enjoy and stay safe ))

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Amal's Pov:

I can literally feel my heart breaking after he went out through that door.
I was crying for hours after he left. I know I have hurt him and I should have made my point in another way.

But I just felt helpless and overwhelmed by all of this. I am not used to feel all this strong emotions for anyone other than my family. So experiencing all of this feelings in such a small period of time is too much for me to handle.

"So that's why you were a coward and broke the boy's heart and yours .. Good Job Amal "

I know that you can't control when or who you develop feelings for. But there's a reality check. We do belong in different worlds and I thought that pushing him away was the best for both of us.

I never thought that it would hurt this much. It's like a part of me is missing.
A walking corpse. I made myself busy with classes and the tests, quizzes also preparing for the exams but still I don't feel okay.
I am not a huge fan of makeup but I started wearing it so my parents and siblings can't see my dark circles and the puffiness under my eyes that have grown from my insomnia. I rarely ever sleep like 3 hours a day if that was a lucky day.
I have been losing weight but I told my parents it's because of the vegetarian food I am having when I am was used to the very fatty arab food.
It's a lie for sure the cook can prepare whatever you need we just need to find a halal store. But I never bothered to search and I guess my parents haven't thought of that either which I am thankful for.

Day by day my appetite diminishes until its practically nor existent the girls tried to get me to eat but I would end up throwing it all or most of it.

All the crew were worried and I also once overheard their conversation.
"Where is Xander. He's the only one that can get her to eat or sleep properly" that was Marlyn's voice.

"Where are you Xander are you okay??" I haven't seen him ever since he stormed out of the office where I was left crying and ended up passing out only to wake up in my room with all of the guys and girls around me. They didn't ask anything which I was super thankful for. But I am sure they know we had a fight cauase for sure they saw Xaander storming out

"She's practically a walker.. get it .. from The Walking Dead" I believe that was Grayson trying to light up the mood

"Not the best time Nars. Whatever we do she wouldn't eat and even if does end up eating . It all goes away by her vomiting " Aubery said

"Can't we use something to get her to eat" I couldn't tell who this was

"Nick you know we can't do that it may have some unexpected side effects if anything gets inside the body." Marlyn replied

"But at least the work on the family is working so we have one less problem " was this Nick ?? and whose family are they talking about ?? is it my family ??
No no way they are normal apart from them not questioning me much everything seems to be working

"Yeah, but we need to tell someone to help May out or find Xander" Grayson stated

"Finding someone is easier than finding a disappearing Alpha who doesn't want to be found."

I couldn't hear anymore cause they all went further and I didn't want to risk them figuring out that I was eavesdropping

"Xander Xander XANDER WHERE IS HE????????"

I thought that if I had pushed him away I will get over him but it got worse I am always wondering how is he doing ?? Is he okay ??
"Of course not Amal you were harsh with him"
And my gut will tighten every time I think that I have wronged him
I have caused someone harm and this shouldn't happen. We Muslims or people in general should be nice to one another
There isn't a day where I don't regret or feel guilty about the way I reacted. I am not saying it's okay but I should have handled the situation better

Sat down , talked to him. Explained everything and we for sure would have found a common ground to stand on.
And I have thought of going to him and apologizing. Doing just that sitting and talking about it. But he's no where to be found.
I have searched the whole house. Nothing..
I even sometimes went out in the forest to look for him all I could ever see was trees. I once did reach what looked like a mini-house hid carefully between the trees but as I was about to go check it out I got a call from Nars checking up on me. And asking to meet for studying. I never got to find that place again no what how hard I tired.

Days have passed the weather got colder and the exams are just around the corner but I can never fully concentrate. My grades got affected so bad that sometimes Fink or one of the crew will make themselves fail so they could re-do it with me and help me with the studies and the exams as well.

Seriously they are the best. I haven't even talked to my friends back home because of my condition and I thank Allah that there's a huge time difference which I could blame. And so far they bought it .

I often saw his shadow far away he would give me this sad smile and go away.
It got worse to a point where I thought I need to see a doctor a psychiatrist to check if I am losing my mind.
He came everywhere. In the classroom, the library, in the kitchen , in physical education where I don't do much work those days because of how weak I am looking and coach B makes me do only half or quarter what's asked of other people.
He also appeared to me in my room. When I opened my door I found him lying down on my bed with his hands behind my his head eyes closed. Legs hanging off the bed because of his height. I just stared at him

"I am sorry Xander so sorry "

"You didn't do anything wrong I should have acted better"

"I am as miserable maybe even more than you "

"I am not satisfied that's for sure"

"I know I have wronged you I am sorry please come back"

"Where are you ??"

Later that day I got a text from Marwa telling me to meet up at the forest and as soon as she saw me she went full ninja mode on me.

"Sho hal haki yali smetoh (What's all that about, what I have heard ?? )"

"Shofi ??"(What's wrong??)

"Smet haki mn Marlyn enk ma am takli wal shi sho el esa? Ahlek saluki w elti eno el akl nbati w hekma ektanaet w kelk ala badek ma ajebteni (I heard from your friend Marlyn that you aren't eating, what's wrong??. Our parents asked you and you said all the things about vegetarian food. I wasn't convinced. I don't like your whole state )" raising an eyebrow

"Lek mafi shi btarfi eno el emtehanat arbet w lahek ana bnsa hali waet el derase w el akel lesa ma etawadet mafi shi kl shit tmam (There is nothing going on , you know that the exams are near and I tend to forget to eat whenever I study and also I am still not used to the food here that's all everything is fine) "

Marwa was about to talk when I cut her off "Eza kan fe shi lazem elk lelk lamen bdi ehki lagerek masalan , bs yeklas el emtehanat kel shi bser tmam (If there was something I would have told you who I would tell and share other than you. When the exams are over everything will be okay)"

"ma eno mani mektna bs kalas rah etrkek la hala (Even though I am not convinced I will leave you for now)"

I can't believe this actually worked out well I thought it would take more convincing but she let it go even if for now.
I really want to tell her but I don't want to even imagine the worst case scenario she will be in such disbelief and disappointed. I never want to see the look on her face ever again not after I betrayed her when we were younger. It was hard to earn back her trust and I won't risk breaking it ever again

I had P.E in half an hour I need to go change even though I have been feeling a severe headache and my vision isn't clear still I went. I need to talk to Marlyn

When I reached the P.E class which would take place in the gym I was never prepared to see Xander there doing some exercise and it was so severe that the bunching bag fell to the ground.
He looks as lifeless as I am. He hasn't had a cut and his beard is a mess
How can someone look a mess and still attractive is way beyond my expectations.

I got out of my frozen state when Coach B assigned us to the machines/gym equipment whatever they are called. Marlyn took me to the side.
"Amal you got to stop this. Why are you here go to the room and sleep or better eat. You haven't eaten in days. Your siblings are concerned"

"My vison is getting worse."

"Is that why you told MARWA, I had to lie to herso much to assure her that I am okay and I don't know if she even believes mebut she won't tell anyone or at least I hope she doesn't"

"Amal can't you see that ... AMAAL" as she was talking the dizziness isoverpowering my senses and I can feel myself losing balance.
I was about to welcome the floor but then I felt strong arms caught me , I knewright away it was him.
When I looked up I saw him "Xand.." I tried saying his name but darkness tookme before I could finish.

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A/N:-

That was Chapter Twelve but don't forget I have another chapter in store which I would upload after 15 minutes of uploading this one

I hope you liked the chapter 

Comment your thoughts & opinions I would love to hear them 

And vote if you liked the chapter 

See you in 15 minutes :D