Emotions

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Tsukishima's Point of view-

"I've seen this happen before. In the movies. The bully then feels bad after figuring out that the person they were hurting is getting hurt by someone else. It's really only a little different in this case. You don't hurt me physically nor mentally. But you tease me. And then my own thoughts start to take over. And now that you've found out my secret you feel bad. So now what, we become best friends?"

Crap, I messed up. I didn't mean to hurt him.

"I don't want to be some type of charity case. I don't want you to feel bad for me because then that just makes me feel bad for myself."

I didn't mean to hurt him.

"I shouldn't be treated differently because you know now."

I didn't mean to hurt him...

"I don't want people finding out so don't tell anyone!"

I give up.

"I didn't mean to hurt you!"

Tears rolled down my face like a waterfall.

"I didn't...mean to..."

I rip off my glasses and slide them across the floor as I collapse on my knees.

"It's the only way I know how to act."

I hate the way I cry. My voice doesn't change at all but everything else goes to shit. I can't stand, can't move, can't do anything but sit there and cry. No weeping, or yelling or whining or loud type of cry's. Just the tears. All the tears.

I get up and pull myself together.

"I don't want you to hate me Hinata. And I don't want you to hurt. But you also have to understand that you and I aren't that different. We both have to hide things from the people we love. For our and their sake."

I grab my bag and begin to walk out of the locker room. I pick up my glasses and put them back on.

"So I take it back to Hinata. I'm not sorry and I wouldn't take anything back because then I never would've found out and I still need to know how you feel. And I won't tell anyone but I don't want you to hurt anymore so know that you can always come to me if you need anything."

I stopped for a second and then left.

I don't want to leave. Not now. Or ever. It's a feeling I'm not used to. I know Yams had some special feelings for me at some point and I think I convinced myself that I felt the same way but really....It wasn't Yams I loved. So no, I wouldn't take back any mean comments or remarks I made towards Hinata and the team.

Even If I could change, I wouldn't. Not because I like who i am or something stupid like that. I hate the way I act. But if I took it all back, I'd be living a lie. And I wouldn't have found out about Hinata. And I wouldn't have cried in front of him. And I wouldn't have had that moment with him. That one moment where I got to touch his body as nothing more than a friend.

Of course that isn't how I felt, I wanted to kiss him and make him feel better and hug forever. But at that moment, we were really friends. It was a step up from teasing him all the time. Sure, things went to shit afterwards, but still.

I think about the scars he had. They were so bad. He looked okay, but they looked like they would've hurt really bad at the time he got them. My poor tangerine. Heh.. I say things like that yet I still push him away.

I'm done pushing him away. When he's ready to talk to me, I'll be with him. He is with me. I won't call him mine because he isn't property that you can take. Well, that is if he ever talks to me. If this ruins things completely, I think I might go insane.

I let the thoughts of losing Hinata forever consume me. I stop dead in my tracks as I think of the most horrible thought. What if not only he hates me but something bad happened to him before I get to hold him and love him. To be with him. I can't bear these thoughts anymore and turn around to run back to him when I bump into someone.


OooOooOooO~

Who did he bump into?

Comment what you think is going to happen!

I hope you all enjoyed! Chapters 5 and 6 will come out either later or tomorrow.

I'm busy with school so it might come out later but I'll try my best!

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I enjoyed making this and I hope you enjoyed reading this. Bye!💕🍊🧂🦖🌞

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