What the heart wants

Chapter 36

Nayeon loves the spring. She loves the sight of flowers blooming and clear clouds drifting by. She loves the way birds chirp and sunlight peeks through her windows. She loves the petals and twigs that sway in their balcony along with the gentle breeze. At any other time she would enjoy this, but her mind is preoccupied with Jeongyeon.

The taller girl doesn't say a lot, but Nayeon knows the fire in her eyes has gone out as if someone doused it with ice cold water. They're empty and pained and it troubles her a bit. Nayeon tries cracking her usual jokes but she doesn't laugh. No matter what effort she makes Jeongyeon crawls right back inside some invisible shell and remains unreachable. Her heart aches like an insatiable fire is devouring her entire being leaving her empty.

Nayeon squeezes her eyes shut. When she opens them again and lowers her glance she finds Chaeyoung and Mina waiting for their taxi. Chaeyoung points at something at a distance in their line of vision and Mina throws her head back laughing. Nayeon welcomes the sight as a relief from the half formed regrets rattling her chest.

For that moment, the muscles in her neck relax, the tightness in her chest disappears and she feels calm.

Mina looks up, their gaze meeting accidentally. Nayeon should look away but she doesn't, she's too tired and drained to avert her eyes. They continue to stare brazenly into each other's eyes and Nayeon doesn't know how much time passes. It could have been seconds or minutes.

She wants to look away because she's terrified the younger girl could see right through her, know all her fears and all the demons she's fighting.

Mina tears away her gaze when Chaeyoung taps her shoulder pointing at the opened door of the taxi.

Nayeon sighs softly as if a tension has lifted off her, yet left her with sorrow instead of relief.

"Oh my god, can you bring her back?" Jihyo asks Jeongyeon as she's the only one strong enough to restrain Nayeon.

They're in a club and Nayeon is drunk. She's arm wrestling strangers and quite a crowd has gathered around her. Dahyun and Sana are by her side cheering her on.

Tzuyu and Momo are dancing, completely unaware of the spectacle around them.

Mina is dozing off on Chaeyoung's shoulder.

"Fine." Jeongyeon huffs reluctantly and approaches the crowd.

Nayeon is challenging a tattooed man who's over six foot tall and egging him on. "Aww who's a cute little boy? Afraid I'll win the round?"

She thrashes around yelling she's going to murder Jeongyeon when the taller girl throws her over her shoulders and carries her fireman style to where Jihyo is before The Hulk snaps her arm like a twig in a wrestling match she is so passionately demanding.

"You're going to take care of Mina." Jihyo puts her in responsibility so Nayeon wouldn't wander off again. "And we are going to dance."

Nayeon folds her arms and slouches in the seat, sulking that they cut her fun short. Chaeyoung moves Mina's head to the side and lays it on Nayeon's shoulder who sighs and leans a little closer after a while to lay her head on top of Mina.

"Don't move." Chaeyoung warns knowing its difficult to get Nayeon to stay still in one place, especially when's she had a couple of drinks. "Don't leave her alone."

Nayeon nods but Chaeyoung has a hard time believing her. She reminds herself to keep an eye on Mina from time to time.

"Maybe you should just stay with Mina." Jeongyeon whispers in Chaeyoung's ears when she sees the girl looking over her shoulders often.

Chaeyoung turns to face Jeongyeon. Her intense dark eyes gleam in the neon lights flashing across the club. Her eyelashes are long and soft looking, so very feminine compared to the well defined features of her face.

Chaeyoung leans on her toes and whispers back, "I could, but then who's going to dance with you?"

Jeongyeon steps closer and Chaeyoung gives a small encouraging smile.

"You're not going to step on my feet again right?" She wraps her arms around the older girl's neck and breathes into her ears.

She feels her shiver a little at their proximity. She hears Jeongyeon's loudly beating heart.

"Maybe if you got a little closer, I couldn't." Jeongyeon husks into her hair.

So Chaeyoung does, the beat of her heart matching Jeongyeon's and connects the length of their body, swaying to the music.

Nayeon is fast asleep on Mina, blissfully unaware of the downward spiral her life is getting sucked into.