What the heart wants

Chapter 44

She always gets sick when they're about to release a new music video. Her overworked vocal chords ache from the swelling and straining.

"Try lemon and honey." Jeongyeon pushes a mug before her.

"I can take care of myself." She pushes the mug back. "Nayeon is sick too, you should go be with her."

Jeongyeon wonders if she imagines the jealousy in her voice. She shakes the thought away. Chaeyoung has made it very clear she was just a meaningless fuck and her heart belonged to Mina.

"I've already given her some."

Chaeyoung scoffs. "Yep, have to take care of the girlfriend first right."

Jeongyeon decides she's had enough with the sarcasm dripping from the younger girl. "You know what, drink it or chuck it in the sink. I don't give a fuck."

Chaeyoung grasps her wrists and tugs her closer. "You did give a fuck."

When she sees no reaction behind those steely eyes, she leans closer to her ears and drawls, "a very good one at that."

Jeongyeon bolts out of the there faster than a lightning on a dark night holding a steadying hand to an erratically beating heart.

Chaeyoung bites back a fond smile taking a sip of the warm lemon and honey tea as she sees the taller girl stumble out of the kitchen.

What is love to you? A listener asks the radio host.

It should hit you unexpectedly. It should bring all your carefully constructed ideas and plans of love come crashing down. It should keep you on your toes, send a spark through every single cell of your being. It should leave you breathless and yet breathe life into you.

The host continues to explain to the listener tuned in.

Chaeyoung stares at the direction Jeongyeon has disappeared.

She feels her heart flutter in her chest in a way it has never done with Mina. For the first time in six months she wonders if what she has with Mina is just an infatuation and what she has with Jeongyeon is something deeper, something scarily matching the description she just heard on the radio.

You're so obsessed with the idea of being in love Chaeyoungah. You've created this whole fairytale scenario in your head with Mina that you'd be too blind to see even if true love is right in front of you.

Jeongyeon's anguished words rattle around in head.

These butterflies in her stomach that's trying to devour her, this intense feeling in the pit of her stomach that makes her dizzy and weak in the knees when her eyes meet those cool brown ones, has this insane chemistry always been there between them? Has she been too blinded by what she thought was her chance at love and let the real one slip right through her fingers?

Her heart clenches painfully when she realizes it doesn't matter what she thinks, Jeongyeon has made it clear where her feelings lay.

It's fine Chaeyoungah. It was a drunken mistake after all. It's not like we like each other.

The words echoes in her ears, taunting her, squeezing her chest with an intensity that threatens to suffocate her.

Jeongyeon might not like her, but she's pretty sure for the first time in her twenty one years she is in love.

She always thought love was a long process and maybe it had been a long process to get to the realization it's love, but it had jumped on her unexpectedly and has toppled her world over without making any grand announcements.

"Fuck my life." She slaps a hand to her forehead as she comes to terms with the epiphany she just had.

I am in love. With Jeongyeon.

"I am so in love with you."

Chaeyoung snaps her head to where Nayeon's sick nasal voice is coming from.

Mina bites her lips trying to hold back a smile. Her eyes are teary and her lips are quivering as she holds the laughter in.

"Look at you. You're so hot!! Damn, look at those biceps, they're strong and attractive!"

Mina catches her eyes and gives her a bright gummy smile.

"You should wear sleeveless more often. I'd totally date you."

Jeongyeon shushes both of them quietly and goes to record Nayeon talking to herself in front of the mirror.